California Supreme Court Says Knot So Fast To Same-Sex Marriage

America's favorite colorful community of sin once again attempted to destroy the moral fabric of society by becoming equal citizens under the law. The nerve!

The pesky homosexuals, who continue to believe the Constitution applies to them, argued before the California Supreme Court on Thursday to overturn Prop 8, the Mormon church funded, voter-approved gay marriage ban that narrowly passed in November.

But much to the dismay of gays and lesbians across the state, the same California Supreme Court who ruled 4-3 to legalize same-sex marriage now expressed skepticism at the idea of overriding the will of the 52 percent of Prop 8-supporters who believe Armageddon will come in the form of Ellen and Portia tying the knot.

Like lead prosecutor and former Bill Clinton tormentor Kenneth Starr who is now representing supporters of Prop 8 because he knows all about the dangers of activist judges legislating from the bench to push their liberal, homosexual agenda unwittingly on the people.

Kind of like the dangers of Democratic presidents who threaten to upend society with their loose morals and sexual infidelities made public by crusading Independent Counsel lawyers hell-bent on eradicating blow-jobs from the Oval Office.

Obama Victory Sparks Backlash Against Usual Sinners: Gays And Freeloading Minorities

Hope, enthusiasm, and change were in the air after Barack Obama's historic victory as the first African-American ever elected President of the United States.

I'm pretty sure he also is the first U.S. president to have the middle name Hussein, but then again, I don't claim to be a presidential scholar. For all I know, Millard Fillmore or Franklin Pierce could've already claimed that honor.

But, lest we get too excited basking in the collective glory over Barack Obama's transformational election victory, some lesser known but nonetheless significant ballot decisions in 36 states around the country reminded us we're still not that enlightened.

I like to call them little reminders that this county isn't about to join hands and break into a collective Kumbaya while swaying in the breeze.

Affirmative Action:

California, Washington, Nebraska, and Michigan all voted to ban affirmative action because Barack Obama's victory effectively means the struggle of all minorities everywhere--black and otherwise (women, asian, hispanic, disabled etc)--is officially over. Permanently.

The Gays:

No, the gays did not fare well this election cycle. Along with Obama's thrilling victory, came the obligatory right-wing backlash against their favorite target of sin, the dreaded homosexuals.

As of Nov. 4, 2008, three states: Arizona, Florida, and California (wtf?!), approved constitutional amendments to ban same-sex marriage. Only difference is California, unlike its purer counterparts, was actually voting to overturn a recent California Supreme Court measure that declared the 2000 gay marriage ban unconstitutional. Crazy Californians!

Not fully satisfied with a gay marriage ban alone, voters in the always forward thinking state of Arkansas decided to take it a step further and ban gay couples from adopting children or serving as foster parents. Cause it's always a brilliant idea to prevent foster children from going to parents who actually want them.

Wicked gay agenda effectively thwarted.