The Show May Be Over, But Traitor Joe's Always Open For Business (If That Business Is Screwing Over Democrats)

There is nothing, I repeat, nothing Sen. Joe Lieberman enjoys more than crushing hopes and destroying dreams. Except maybe the occasional chance to kick a whimpering, defenseless puppy down the street or really stick it to Democrats, ya know, the party he joined in 1970 and represented as a vice presidential candidate in 2000, before deciding eh, why not go against everything I've ever stood for my entire life in some desperate, pathetic attempt to remain relevant, and retain my smooth, surprisingly large, perfectly manicured grip on power?

**Sigh** Oh, that Joe!

Well, according to the liberal rag/commie manifesto The New York Times, Benedict Lieberman has been taking meetings with the two main Republican primary challengers: ball bustin' World Wrestling Entertainment executive Linda McMahon who apparently didn't think $50 million was enough to waste on a losing campaign the first time around, and former Rep. Chris Shays, another old, endlessly frustrating New England moderate conservative who also loves beautiful war but at least understands which political party he belongs to. Which is more than we can say for ol' Joe!

On the bright side, at least Democrats don't have to worry that Joe will wake up with an actual conscious and endorse one of them (heavens forbid!), which would be probably be as helpful as a bite from a syphilitic hyena.

In the meantime, some Connecticut Democrats who are eyeing the party's nomination for his seat are not particularly interested in getting Mr. Lieberman's support. They seem wary of associating politically with a man who went from being the Democratic vice-presidential candidate in 2000 to backing Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, over Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential race.
Susan Bysiewicz, a former Connecticut secretary of state who is seeking the Democratic nomination for Senate, noted in an interview that Mr. Lieberman was unpopular with rank-and-file Democrats.
"Senator Lieberman's endorsement would not be helpful," she said, adding that she believed he was more closely identified with the Republicans these days.
Representative Christopher S. Murphy, a three-term Democrat who is also running for Mr. Lieberman's seat, said, "I'm not sure his support is relevant."

Hush it Murphy! You fool, you'll ruin everything!  If Lieberman finds out that endorsing a Democrat would be the quickest, most sure-fire way to screw over a Democrat, then that is just what he'll do.

And what more fitting way to bid adieu to our favorite Jewish Benedict Arnold than with a little Broadway ditty?

Go, go, go Joseph you know what they say (you're an asshole?)
Hang on now Joseph you'll make it some day (use those big, firm hands!)
Sha la la Joseph you're doing fine (for a loser pariah no one likes!)
You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time (well, technically it's a turncoat)

Go, go, go Joseph you know what they say (it's actually probably better if you don't)
Hang on now Joseph you'll make it some day (and by "it" we totally mean money!)
Sha la la Joseph you're doing fine (Hadassah still loves you!)
You and your dreamcoat ahead of your time (more like nightmarecoat for everyone else!)

Oh, fuck it, just...

Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

[image via AP]

Sen. Arlen Specter Abandons Sinking Ship, Jumps Aboard Obama's Democratic Hope Train

OMG, breaking news! Pennyslvania Senator Arlen Specter has finally crossed over to the dark side and joined the godless Democrats, moving them one-step closer to the coveted 60-seat filibuster-proof majority. And moving Republicans one step closer to absolute and utter irrelevance.

Specter's decision to join Comrade Barry's Democratic revolution comes after realizing his party has become a bunch of teabagging morons with no direction, no leader, and no hope ever since that charismatic secret Muslim dude came and sucked all the life out of it. That, and the fact, that he hasn't really agreed with a damn thing his party stands for in oh, i don't know, the last decade or so, even before that Alaskan hussy Sarah Palin came along and almost ruined America.

"Since my election in 1980, as part of the Reagan Big Tent, the Republican Party has moved far to the right. Last year, more than 200,000 Republicans in Pennsylvania changed their registration to become Democrats. I now find my political philosophy more in line with Democrats than Republicans."

But some, like RNC Chairman Michael Steele, know the truth about no-good RINOs like Arlen Specter.

"Let's be honest--Sen. Specter didn't leave the GOP based on principles of any kind. He left to further his personal political interests because he knew that he was going to lose a Republican primary due to his left-wing voting record."

Damn Arlen Specter! It took him this long to realize moderates are as welcome in the Republican party as a busload of swine-flu infected illegal aliens (gasp!) trying to get into the United States!?

Please God Tell Me This Isn't My Party

Wah Wah Joe Lieberman Sulks, Then Offers His Dull Congratulations

Aw, Joe, How Can We Stay Mad At Such A Cute Face?

Oh, Joe. We really appreciate your statement congratulating Barack Obama on his historic victory last night, even if you did do everything in your power to prevent it from happening for the last year or so.

You made us very nervous, Joe! Thankfully, though, not many people listened to the advice of a washed-up, Jewish (gasp!) turncoat with a dopey grin and suspect motives.

Boy, we were angry when you spit in the face of your fellow Democrats to endorse John McCain and whore yourself out at the Republican Convention, but we have learned to forgive.

We see now that your sincerity and willingness to let bygones be bygones is a true testament to your character.

"Now that the election is over, it is time to put partisan considerations aside and come together as a nation to solve the difficult challenges we face and make our blessed land stronger and safer."

We could not agree with you more, Joe. The only way to move this country forward is to have Republican and Democrats working together to solve the nation's most pressing issues.

President Obama (remember, the half-black guy you tried to ruin?) has already expressed his intention to build a cross-party coalition to get things done in Washington--based on ideas and action and not ugly partisan politics.

Sadly, though, you probably won't be a part of it. And not because you are a wandering orphan, unloved and unwanted by either Republicans or Democrats.

It's just that damn whiny voice of yours that we can't stand.