Crazy New Maine Governor Paul LePage Declares War On Labor...In The Form Of Historic Art Murals In The State Capital

It is no secret that several Republican governors, like that one Kochsucker in Wisconsin, have waged an all-out, no holds-barred, full-frontal assault on those no-good workers' unions and their terrible, ungodly right to collectively bargain fair wages and safe working conditions so they don't end up dying both penniless and limbless, since everyone knows it's probably cheaper to leave a few bloody digits here and there, than risk delaying production of the shiny, gleaming new 60 inch 3D LCD flatscreen HDTV 1080 dpi, with built-in state-of-the-art surround sound.

Priorities, people!

Not that those greedy teachers and assembly line workers could possibly understand that with their fancy shmancy 1992 Subaru Outbacks, worn out overalls, and seemingly never supply of bright, thick highlighters and sleek bic pens.

Guess for some people, the sky's the limit!

Good thing there's still one person who understands the stakes and will not stop, will not so much as rest, until every last lazy budget-busting union worker, school teacher, police officer, and sanitation worker is crushed, squashed, wiped from existence, and otherwise brought completely to their likely arthritic knees in the new, noble, holy GOP-helmed War on the Working Class.

Because for the new Teabagging governor of Maine, Paul LePage, a new front has just been opened in the war, and now it's not just labor unions in his crosshairs, but labor art too!

This ain't your grandma's class warfare!

You see, Paul LePage is understandably so disgusted by a "36-foot mural depicting the state's labor history" in the lobby of Maine's Department of Labor that he's ordered its removal, which will hopefully be followed by the prompt removal of all other undesirables, like Muslims, gays, Mexicans, and all other hapless schmucks who tasted the sweet nectar of freedom and somehow still landed in Maine. Maine!

Oh, and you know those conference rooms named after famous pro-labor icons like Cesar Chavez and the first female U.S. Cabinet secretary, FDR-era Labor Secretary Francis Perkins?? Those need to go too. Too worker-y!

Of course, the problem isn't that the mural and conference rooms disturbed the delicate aesthetic sensibilities, or even the sophisticated artistic integrity of the average Maine citizens, but rather that some businesspeople started bitching, which as you know always requires immediate action.

This is America after all!

"We have received feedback that the administration building is not perceived as equally receptive to both businesses and workers -- primarily because of the nature of the mural in the lobby and the names of our conference rooms," Maine Department of Labor Acting Commissioner Laura Boyett wrote in an e-mail.

"Whether or not the perception is valid is not really at issue and therefore, not open to debate. If either of our two constituencies perceives that they are not welcome in our administration building and this translates to a belief that their needs will not be heard or met by this department, then it presents a barrier to achieving our mission."

No poors allowed!

On the other hand, all the hot shot business owners and big wigs need to do is snap their fingers and voila! no more unsightly Socialist beggar mural!

Hmmm, the workers would probably do the same thing, if their fingers were still attached to their hands not stuck in a boiling vat of Maine's famous lobster clam bisque.

Gov. LePage's Press Secretary Adrienne Bennett said the governor's office is exploring alternative places to keep the mural, perhaps in the state museum, and believes they can move it without damaging the artwork.

"We're not going to put an 'Open for Business' sign in the lobby either," she said when asked what would replace the painting. "It's going to be neutral."

I mean they're not dirty whores, here!

"When you walk into our Department of Labor lobby, you see this mural, which is on several walls," Bennett said. "There's no getting around it. You see it, and it's there. The administration feels it's inappropriate for a taxpayer-funded agency to appear to be on one side or another. Clearly, the mural depicts one side. ... We've got to make sure, as a Department and as a state government, we're representing all Maine people."

Or at least those who went ahead and actually made something of themselves, getting filthy rich off the misfortunes of others, not frittering away their lives teaching your bratty kid English.

"The message from state agencies needs to be balanced," Bennett said, adding that that the rooms could instead be named "after mountains, counties or something."

Or maybe something really beautiful and inspiring like say Bernie Madoff's Golden Pyramid scheme atop a scintillating sea of luxurious shiny black BP-oil soaked bird and fish carcasses, with a breathtaking cascade of acid rain, Glenn Beck's gold plated coins, and poor people's tears trickling down on the miserable mass of weeping orphans, starving children, and the now-distant memories of Maine's once thriving, now threatened working class.

"No matter what you name a room, no matter how many pictures you take down, the truth is that this state was built by and for working people and this move dishonors the generations of hard-working Mainers who came before us," Maine AFL-CIO President Don Berry said. "Paul LePage cannot erase our history, and he will not silence the voice of the working class in Maine."

Don't be silly. With all the greedy teachers gone, there's no one to teach the poor schlubs how to speak anyway.

But how does a nice, pretty picture sound instead?

Holy Twit! Twitter Refuses To Verify Scott Walker's Account; But Was Able To Verify His Asshole Status

Famous people like Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen, Rahm "9½ Fingers" Emanuel, and Sarah "Lou" Palin have "verified" Twitter accounts, meaning their ghostwritten 140-character thoughts, ruminations, and random profanity-laced outbursts are honored with a little green check mark next to their name, proving that they are indeed the awesome celebrities they claim to be (or, at least, the publicity people or personal assistants actually responsible for Twatting the nonsense), and not just some middle-aged shmuck in his parent's basement banging away at the keyboard instead of an actual woman.

Then, there's union-gobbling Wisconsin Kochsucker Scott Walker, who, along with his dedicated staff, took a break from waging an unseemly Republican-fueled war on teachers, police officers, firefighters, and every other miserable middle-class sadsack without a trust fund in his or her name, to kindly request that Scott Walker’s stupid Twitter account be verified as the official celebrity account of Wisconsin's wretched new baseball bat-wielding, blue collar busting governor (of rich people), Scott Walker.

Turns out, much like the rest of the Badger State, the people over at Twitter apparently can't stand the bastard either, and basically told Walker to f-off without even needing all 140 characters to do it!

"We've tried to get the Governor's account verified through Twitter," said a spokesperson for Walker's office yesterday afternoon. The office sent a request to Twitter via fax on official letterhead last week to prove legitimacy of the @GovWalker account, the spokesperson told ClickZ News.
"With all the attention surrounding the Governor…it was kind of important for us to get his account verified. There are a lot of impersonations."
Yet, despite Walker's emergence on the national political stage in the midst of his fight with Wisconsin Senate Democrats and public unions, Twitter turned down the Governor's request.
"They sent us back a canned response" via fax stating the company is not currently verifying "for members of the public," said the spokesperson.

Excuuuuuse me?? Not verifying for members of the public?? How rude!! Sir Scott Walker isn't just some scumsucking, 9-5 schlubby "member of the public" who devotes his miserable life to trivial, unimportant things like teaching our public school children to read, write, and not get embarrassingly duped into saying dumb, terrible things by liberal bloggers posing as one half of the über rich, über evil rightwing duo affectionately known as the Koch Daddies Koch Brothers.

As if!

He just so happens to be the driving force behind Wisconsin's insane, one-man, full frontal assault on any semblance of fair pay or a decent life for the poor sops who make a living teaching your bratty kids how to make proper change for a dollar, not make a killing dumping toxic waste into our precious rivers and lakes.

He's Scott Walker, God damn it!

But c'mon, you understand don't you, Scott? Verify one random jerk and before you know it, you have to verify every random jerk with a Koch/Coke problem, be it the old-fashioned Charlie Sheen kind, or the equally intoxicating, just as pricey, pure, white Republican overlord kind.

But, don't worry, Scott, verified account or not, one thing's for sure: you're still a giant Twat!

Money Talks! Fake David Koch Prank Caller Discusses How Best To Crush Unions With Real Gov. Scott Walker. Their Answer: Baseball Bats!

Heartless, union-whacking Monster of the Midwest, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, is up to his neck in angry mobs of no-good, money sucking labor unions protestin' his brave new plan to restore fiscal sanity to Wisconsin by rolling back collective bargaining rights and reducing already meager salaries of police, firefighters, teachers and other freeloadin' public employees wastin' taxpayer money trying to teach li'l Johnny Algebra.

How rude! Amiright?

I mean, the nerve of those greedy union goons thinking billionaires, multimillionaires and high-flying corporate executives should actually pay silly, poor people things like income taxes, while they live large with their $50k a year, basic health insurance, and soon-to-be-revoked ability to collectively negotiate their salaries so they don't get screwed out of house 'n home by their new governor/corporate overlord.

But don't think for one minute this means Mr. Scott Walker, THE Gov. Scott Walker, is too busy dealing with disgruntled First Amendment-flexing citizens peacefully marching across Madison to talk to right-wing industrialist and secret Republican Czar David Koch for 20 minutes on the taxpayer-funded phone in his taxpayer-funded office.

Unfortunately for Walker, the “David Koch” he talked to for 20 minutes was actually just a liberal blogger named Ian Murphy putting on a funny rich-guy voice, and pretending to be an asshole with no morals who hates the middle class.

So is Scott Walker finally going to budge and let the workers of Wisconsin have their rights? No, no, don't be an idiot. He's going to brag about awesome ideas like pinning felonies on senators, or better yet, firing the darn rabble rousers who fled the state, sending "at risk" notices to state workers, and of course, taking a baseball bat to the heads of poor protesters, which is a wonderful way to, in fake David Koch's words, "crush that union."

Walker: Hi; this is Scott Walker.
Koch: Scott! David Koch. How are you?
Walker: Hey, David! I’m good. And yourself?
Koch: I’m very well. I’m a little disheartened by the situation there...Now you’re not talking to any of these Democrat bastards, are you?
Walker: Ah, I—there’s one guy that’s actually voted with me on a bunch of things I called on Saturday for about 45 minutes, mainly to tell him that while I appreciate his friendship and he’s worked with us on other things, to tell him I wasn’t going to budge.
Koch: Goddamn right!
Walker: …his name is Tim Cullen—
Koch: All right, I’ll have to give that man a call.
Walker: Well, actually, in his case I wouldn’t call him and I’ll tell you why: he’s pretty reasonable but he’s not one of us…
Koch: Now who can we get to budge on this collective bargaining?
Walker: …I’ve got layoff notices ready…
Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. Gotta crush that union.
Walker: [bragging about how he doesn't budge]…
Koch: Bring a baseball bat. That’s what I’d do.
Walker: I have one in my office; you’d be happy with that. I have a slugger with my name on it.
Koch: Beautiful.
Walker: [more union-bashing...]
Koch: Beautiful.
Walker: So this is ground zero, there’s no doubt about it.
Koch: Goddamn right! We, uh, we sent, uh, Andrew Breitbart down there.
Walker:Yeah.
Koch: Yeah.
Walker: Good stuff.
Koch: He’s our man, you know.
Koch: Now what else could we do for you down there? We’ll back you any way we can. What we were thinking about the crowd was, uh, was planting some troublemakers.
Walker: You know, well, the only problem with that —because we thought about that. The problem—the, my only gut reaction to that is right now the lawmakers I’ve talked to have just completely had it with them, the public is not really fond of this…[explains that planting troublemakers may not work.] My only fear would be if there’s a ruckus caused is that maybe the governor has to settle to solve all these problems…[something about '60s liberals.]…Let ‘em protest all they want…Sooner or later the media stops finding it interesting.
Koch: Well, not the liberal bastards on MSNBC.

Whoa, whoa, with all due respect, Mr. Koch, Scott happens to dig Morning Joe‘s Mika Brzezinski’s one good asset.

Walker: Oh yeah, but who watches that? I went on “Morning Joe” this morning. I like it because I just like being combative with those guys, but, uh. You know they’re off the deep end.
Koch: Joe—Joe’s a good guy. He’s one of us.
Walker: Yeah, he’s all right. He was fair to me…[bashes NY Senator Chuck Schumer, who was also on the program.]
Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. You gotta love that Mika Brzezinski; she’s a real piece of ass.
Walker: Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

But that's not all! Once Scott Walker's done acting like the Kool-Aid Man's hell version, if his gigantic pitcher were filled with hydrochloric acid instead of refreshing, frosty signature sugary red juice, he's got plenty of fun activities planned far, far, away from the frozen wasteland of shrieking poor people wearing cheddar wheels on their heads.

Koch: [Laughs] Well, I tell you what, Scott: once you crush these bastards I’ll fly you out to Cali and really show you a good time.
Walker: All right, that would be outstanding.

So true! We hear there are some good faux S&M lesbian strippers over there. Ya know, the kind Republican officials like.

That way, they can first hit up the nudie clubs and enjoy a nice strip tease from Cinnamon and Fantasia, before stripping away all their rights, benefits, and privileges, including their precious single dollar bills.

How else is Scott supposed to tip the hardworking unionized men and women carrying his designer Louis Vuitton luggage from the limo to the airport, huh?

With his own hard-earned money?

Sure, when hell freezes over.

Which, come to think of it, sounds exactly like Wisconsin these days!

Runaway Wisconsin Dems On The Lam In Illinois To Escape Crazy Gov. Scott Walker's Big, Bad, Bust-Up Unions Bill

Screw the Middle East, bro, have you seen the crazy shit that's goin' down in the Middle West?

All 14 of Wisconsin's Democratic Senators have fled the state (9-month long winters and this is what it took?) to prevent union-busting, budget-crazed Republicans from voting stripping public employees of their longstanding collective bargaining rights, and basically transforming Wisconsin's once-powerful, once-strong worker's unions into nothing more than soft, porous, weak ol' Swiss cheese, instead of full, dense, rich flavorful cheddar, that tastes great and looks amazing when worn atop the head at sporting events.

But now that Republican Governor Scott Walker's very kind, very gentle, very reasonable plea for state Democrats to please return to work so they can effectively gut their precious unions to smithereens went ignored, they are also now hiding from Wisconsin state police, who've been called in to "round up" these rogue Democrats, and force them into the congressional chamber.

But in order to corral these wayward Dems and ship 'em back to America's Dairyland, you gotta find 'em first!

In protest of the budget repair bill that will strip public union workers of almost all of their collective bargaining rights, Senate Democrats have walked away from a floor session.
Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald said Dems are refusing to come to the floor to debate and vote on the bill.
Fitzgerald said at some point, if needed, Republicans will use the State Patrol to round up Democrats to bring them to the floor.

But where o where in God's Great Snow-Covered Plains would a busload of fugitive Senators go when evading the long arm of Wisco's new Teabagging Gov. Scott Walker's over-caffeinated, Lipton-loving arm? Why, a generic motel in Illinois, of course!

Wisconsin state Democrats who refused to show up for a vote on Governor Walker’s budget repair bill have been located.
The lawmakers are in Rockford, Illinois at the Best Western Clock Tower Resort and Conference Center.

Ooooh, did you say, "resort?"

Okay, okay, but before Republicans and other human bags o' herb 'n spice see the word resort and spontaneously combust with white-hot rage, let's remember that it's a freaking Best Western! Sure, the place does have an indoor "water park", but nonetheless, the word "resort" may be a tad generous when describing this fine Northern Illinois establishment.

So while Wisconsin Dems enjoyed getting drunk and hitting the lazy river in 65,000 square feet of indoor water park fun and games at CoCo Key Water Resort and Key Quest Arcade, thousands of protesters, from state employees and their unions, to college and high school students, to members of the Green Bay Packers and other sympathetic-to-the-rights-and-dignity-of-workers-type suckers took to the Capitol to stomp their hippie feet and shout meany stuff at the awful governor they just elected. Umm, only about 4 months too late Badgers!

Nearly 800 Madison East High School students walked out of school Tuesday morning to join a demonstration against Gov. Scott Walker's budget repair bill at the Capitol.
As teachers beamed and offered thanks, student organizers in the hallways handed out signs identifying each as a "future worker, future voter," proclaiming this was a "Walk out for Walker out," and calling on the Legislature to "kill this bill."

Hate to rain on your protest parade, cheeseheads, but usually it's best to take care of these things, as in know where your esteemed public officials stand, like if they're really union-hating whackjobs, before electing them to power. Just a suggestion.

But then again, it's their call. If the good people of Wisconsin prefer their lawmakers be forced to live like traveling salesman or fugitive senators, floating around on innertubes in some indoor “lazy river” thing off a highway rest stop in Illinois, then so be it.

In the meantime, Democratic Minority Leader Mark Miller released a statement on behalf of all Democrats urging Gov. Scott Walker and Republicans, who hold a 19-14 majority in the legislature, to listen to opponents of the measure and seek a compromise. Naturally, his statement did not address where Democrats were or when they planned to return.

"We are all willing to come to the table, we've have all been willing from day one," said Madison teacher Rita Miller. "But you can't take A, B, C, D and everything we've worked for in one fell swoop."

Haha, wanna bet?

Because when voters elected wingnut conservative Gov. Scott Walker, along with his 68-page special needs job plan, and GOP majorities in both legislative chambers, they pretty much were begging for a showdown.

And aside from hitting the road, Democrats have been powerless to stop the bill, marking a dramatic shift for Wisconsin, the birthplace of union representation for public employees.

"The story around the world is the rush to democracy," said Democratic Sen. Bob Jauch of Poplar. "The story in Wisconsin is the end of the democratic process."

But on the bright side, at least it is not the end of the cheese processing process!

Though, next time you want to hide from the Wisconsin GOP, and maybe don't feel like taking a mandatory congressional field trip across state lines, a good idea would probably be to just go somewhere Republicans would never, ever, in a million years be caught dead at.

Like say a library or museum.