Selfish Loser Obama Gives Nobel Prize Money To Silly Charity Cases Like Kids And Women

First, lame-o, ne'r-do-well President Barack Hussein Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for doing nothing except parade his cute li'l behind across the globe, and now, instead of buying a new wardrobe for Michelle and the gals, and iPads for every terrible community organizer residing in his evil hometown of Chicago, this genius is donating his entire $1.4 million prize (cash money, yo!) to get this, helping people who actually need it. Ha ha loser!

Doesn't sound like something Hitler would do, which is weird because I always thought they were the exact same person, ya know, always trying to ram universal health down our throats and annihilate world Jewry and stuff.

But nooooo, despite what Fox News would lead you to believe, turns out this illegal Socialist alien is nothing like the Führer!

Instead, President NObama is donating all $1.4 million of his comically undeserved Nobel Peace Prize loot to helping students, veterans' families and survivors of Haiti's earthquake, and other organizations he said "do extraordinary work."

Can this guy be any more selfish?

The most money — $250,000 — went to Fisher House, which provides housing for families of patients being cared for at major military and VA medical centers.

The Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund, which raises money for long-term relief efforts in Haiti following that country’s devastating earthquake, received $200,000.

$125,000 went to six different charities:

– College Summit, which partners with schools with the goal of increasing college enrollment;

– The Posse Foundation, which awards scholarships to “public high school students with extraordinary academic and leadership potential who may be overlooked by traditional college selection processes”;

– The United Negro College Fund, which offers scholarship and internship programs for more than 60,000 students per year;

– The Hispanic Scholarship Fund, which awards scholarships and offers outreach support to the Hispanic community;

– The Appalachian Leadership and Education Foundation, which offers scholarships and leadership curriculum to young people from Appalachia;

– And the American Indian College Fund, which distributes scholarships to American Indian students and provides support for tribal college needs.

Two charities were awarded $100,000 each. One is AfriCare, which offers programs in Africa addressing health and HIV/AIDS, food security and agriculture, and water resource development. The other is the Central Asia Institute, which promotes education and literacy in remote areas of Pakistan and Afghanistan with a focus on educating girls.

Ugh, next thing you know, every darn color of the rainbow will be linking arms, swaying to Kumbaya in peaceful harmony, harnessing the power of their newly educated minds to find new and improved solutions to the world's most pressing issues, and war will no longer be a fun romp through the magical land of Oz, where cupcakes, not smart bombs, fall from the sky, the air is always the perfect temperature, heated by the glowing rays of the sun, instead of radioactive fallout from burning flesh rotting upon the scorched Earth, and no one's throats are red and raw from having health care rammed down them by some deranged madman with a funny name and a winning smile.

When it Comes to Accuracy in News, Fox is a Whole Other Animal

*This is not a scientific poll

Yay! Apparently, Fox News is VERY serious about its new "zero tolerance policy" to gain credibility and abandon the whole laughingstock approach that's pretty much been their bread and butter for the past, oh, ten or so years, by using actual facts instead of whichever voice is in Glenn Beck's head at that particular moment.

Fox News is so serious about adhering to these industry-wide journalistic standards of being slightly more competent than your average household pet that they even include a *disclaimer* about the "non-scientific" nature of their recent "scientific" poll.

Which is a big step for Fox! Just in case the small fact that the poll makes absolutely zero sense is lost upon the sharp, inquisitive minds of Fox News viewers.

Because sometimes polls can be very confusing! Especially when it involves Fox News getting a simple yes-or-no question like "Does Obama deserve the Nobel Peace Prize?" correct.

DOES OBAMA DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE? YES, HE DOES NOT.

Sharp as a fox, they are!

Liz Cheney's Solution To Bow-Gate: Choose Dick In 2012!

Dick Cheney's mutant golden-haired spawn Liz Cheney is full of great ideas. Like how if Obama really wanted to do the honorable thing, he'd take his farce of a peace prize and shove it right down the stupid Nobel committee members' throats. Or send the mother of a fallen American soldier to accept the prize just to remind those Nobel ingrates who exactly keeps them safe and snug every night.

Unlike NObama, Liz also knows the best way to keep America safe isn't through silly diplomacy or cultivating strong international allies or anything pussy like that. I mean who are we, France or something??

Like anyone's gonna take us seriously if we stop randomly invading sovereign nations, start adhering to international law, and suddenly stop pissing the whole world off just because it's fun.

Perhaps that's fine for community organizers in Chicago, but out in the real world, Barry's way just ain't gonna cut it. The O-man is in for a big surprise!

Take his recent trip to Asia for instance, where Comrade Barry made the unforgivable mistake of greeting Japanese Emperor Akihito with the traditional custom of bowing respectfully while shaking hands as a sign of honor. Gasp!

How dare he? Start with a bow and the next thing you know Obama's thanking them for Pearl Harbor and apologizing for that whole A-bomb thing. I mean, the past is the past people!

Liz for one would never endanger America by treating an important world leader and key global ally with respect and deference. And you know who else wouldn't? Dick, that's who!

In fact, when Dick met the emperor back in 2007, not only did Akihito not get a bow, the little man's lucky he didn't get a swift kick in the balls to go with it.

Let alone dither around with any of this "bow-gate" crap.

"You could also look at the comparison and think, Cheney 2012," Liz chimed in during a roundtable discussion on Fox News Sunday.

Which made the rest of the panelists hoot with delight!

Barely managing to contain his hysterical laughter at such sheer brilliance (and wit!), Bill Kristol quipped that, "Sarah Palin would never bow to the emperor of Japan. She wouldn't even curtsy to him."

Don't be silly, Bill! She doesn't even know what a curtsy is. Besides everyone knows Japan isn't a real country. It's just a faraway fantasy island they used for that giant gorilla movie. Donkey Kong or whatever.

Liz Cheney: Obama Is Radical, The Sky Is Green, And The Earth Is Flat

Dick Cheney's blonde estrogen-filled version of himself, hell daughter Liz has a few suggestions for that terrible man Barry and that farce of a Nobel Prize he won. Ha ha, I mean what the hell does "peace" mean anyway?

Liz is appalled that President Barack Obama would have the audacity to even consider attending the Nobel ceremony in Oslo to accept his award instead of basically telling the committee to go screw themselves and their stupid peace prize too. Which would be the reasonable thing to do, of course.

"The notion that this White House says he will go to Oslo to accept this prize just adds to the farce," Cheney told Fox News. "But I do think he could send a real signal here. I think what he ought to do frankly is send a mother of a fallen American soldier to accept the prize on behalf of the U.S. military and frankly to send the message to remind the Nobel committee that each one of them sleeps soundly at night because the U.S. military is the greatest peacekeeping force in the world today."

Frankly, Liz, you're an idiot.

But that didn't stop this feisty li'l lady from launching her own new group, Keep America Safe, to rally opposition to the "radical" foreign policy of the Obama administration which has done nothing except undermine the nation's security.

"The policies being proposed by the Obama administration are so radical across the board,” Cheney said. “Whether you’re a Republican or a Democrat, you want the nation to be strong and so many steps this president is taking are making the nation weaker."

Absolutely! Who's gonna take us seriously if we stop illegally detaining suspected terrorists for unlimited periods of time, outlaw torture (luxurious upside-down blindfolded ice-cold bottled water baths included), and stop pissing off every one in the world for no good reason?

"The policies of the Bush administration since Sept. 11 are those policies that kept us safe – there’s no turning away from that legacy at all...It’s clear that there’s a real grassroots fear and concern out there. Everywhere I go people are saying to me, ‘Where can I go to learn more,’” Cheney said. “People realize what a dangerous world we live in."

Ummm, yeah, now that we have TWO crazy Cheneys running around.

Why Can't Obama Get Shoes--Not Nobels--Tossed At Him Like A Normal US President?

OMG, did you hear the terrible, horrible Earth-shattering news? No, no not Iran launching nuclear warheads or deadly floods in the Philippines, but something far, far worse: Barack Hussein Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize!

On this darkest of days, the day the Earth stood still, Barack Hussein Obama won the peace prize and Republicans lost their minds (or what little bit remained) all because the dreadful Nobel commission had the audacity to honor an American President for wanting to do something other than bomb the hell out of poor, oil-rich Muslim countries.

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," the Nobel Committee said, adding that the decision was "unanimous and came with ease." Ha, like they know anything.

Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.) explains that the award is a "recognition of President Obama’s work to strengthen international cooperation. It validates the president's approach to tough trans-national challenges such as global warming and the spread of nuclear arms. And it celebrates his steady efforts to improve America’s standing around the world."

Or in the words of one State Department spokesman, "Gives us a sense of momentum when the United States has accolades tossed its way rather than shoes."

At least the Republicans know it's never a good idea to honor the leader of the free world for his efforts to solve complex global problems, like working toward a world free of nuclear weapons and giving people hope for a better future.

Well it just doesn't get any worse than this (except of course if America had actually succeeded in bringing the Olympics home) because having the world suddenly respect us is just too big a burden to bear--and the Republicans for one, want nothing to do with such things. They're much more comfortable when the world burns effigies of their leaders not honors them with coveted international awards.

"The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists – the Taliban and Hamas this morning – in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize," DNC Communications Director Brad Woodhouse said in a statement.

"Republicans cheered when America failed to land the Olympics and now they are criticizing the President of the United States for receiving the Nobel Peace prize – an award he did not seek but that is nonetheless an honor in which every American can take great pride – unless of course you are the Republican Party. The 2009 version of the Republican Party has no boundaries, has no shame and has proved that they will put politics above patriotism at every turn. It's no wonder only 20 percent of Americans admit to being Republicans anymore – it's an embarrassing label to claim."

Almost as embarrassing as being an American the world actually respects. **Shudder.**