Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Original Lipstick Covered Pig Hops On A Hog To Honor War Veterans...And Herself, Of Course!


While the rest of (fake) America guzzled beer and stuffed brats into their mouths, the nation's #1 favoritest patriot rumbled through Washington DC perched atop a badass Harley Davidson because nothing's more appropriate than Sarah Palin kicking off her presidential tour riding bitch on the back of a gas guzzlin' Hog.

That's right, folks! In honor of America's fallen war heroes, our dear wandering wonder from Wasilla donned a black leather jacket, hopped on a tricked out Harley, and celebrated Memorial Day with 400,000 or so other "Rolling Thunder" bikers dedicated to raising awareness of veterans' issues by riding steel death machines that run on evil foreign Muslim-terrorist fuel.

And even though Sgt. Sarah sadly didn't get to make a riveting speech thanking the crowd for honoring her terrible sacrifices serving the nation the U.S. Armed Forces her savings account, she did get the chance to blurt a bunch of dumb shit ("I love that smell of emissions!”) and scribble someone else's historic words on her hand.

AP reports:
On the windshield of Palin's bike: a likeness of President George W. Bush. Next to it, the words "Miss Me?" And on her hand, the words "justice rolls" were written in smeared ink.
It was an apparent reference to Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech, which is quoted on Palin's website: "We will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream."
This is either Sarah's lame attempt at biker-gang humor or Martin Luther King Jr.'s Famous Dream wasn't so much about racial equality for blacks, but that someday his vision could be plagiarized, compressed into two words, and smeared on some petty Fox News personality/pretend presidential candidate's paws to pander to the crowd at some dumb one-day biker fest she crashed.

Naturally, Palin avoided the awful lamestream media and opted instead to vent her thoughts at inanimate objects that don't talk back or ask meany, gotcha questions like what newspapers do you read and what is the purpose of your nationwide bus tour?
Palin didn’t take questions from reporters and, in keeping her social media strategy, offered her thoughts on her political website.
“There’s no better way to see D.C. than on the back of a Harley!”
Except maybe on the backs of POW/MIAs and all the other war vets she loves (exploiting) so much!

Besides, everyone knows you don't just give away ridiculous, nonsensical statements for free. You have to get people to go to your dumb website and click on that "Donate" button first. Then, you can tell all about how much you love America's wars and all the people who died fighting them.

Rolling Thunder national legislative director Ted Shpak said that Palin hadn’t been invited and that the group doesn’t endorse candidates, but “We can’t stop her from coming to ride.”

“If she wants to ride, that’s fine,” he said. “It is a big distraction because we’re not political.”

Psst, silly, neither is she!

Good thing too, because political jokes are usually total disasters anyway!

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