Billionaire everyman Willard "Mitt" Romney simply cannot stop reminding America what a regular, down-to-earth, hard-working, obscenely wealthy, non-robot guy he is, with a white picket fence (around one of his mansions, he's sure!) and a wife who drives "a couple of Cadillacs" like the rest of you people with jobs and what's the weird "M" word again, oh yeah, mortgages.
Naturally, Mitt won't be watching the Daytona 500 or anything crazy human like that (good God, no!), 'cause I mean haha, c'mon, but some of his best friends do own racing teams and he does love sports and cars, specifically buying cars for sport. You know, typical guy stuff!
After spending much of the week in Michigan defending his opposition to the 2008 auto bailout, Mitt Romney got acquainted with a different side of the car industry during a visit to Florida’s Daytona International Speedway.OMG, totally! Kinda like how even though he isn't specifically a fan of black people, he is friends with some former owners of black people.
Asked Sunday if he follows racing Romney replied, “Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans, but I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners,” the AP reports.
Besides, Mittens doesn't have "friends." He does have people who fetch him stuff when he rings a bell, which is sort of the same thing, right?
Either way, NASCAR's #1 fanatic in a fancy dress shirt, Mitt Romney, was so revved up for the big race he could hardly contain his enthusiasm (i.e. an unnatural smile), telling the crowd the event "combines a couple of things I like best, cars and sports.''
And beer! And baseball! He doesn't technically "follow" the sport, but he does know the owners and is a big fan of diamonds.
But don't you dare think his decision to leave Michigan just days before the state's primary was a sign he was confident he'd win or anything. Heaven forbid!
"No, it's a sign of a guy who loves cars. And this has always been a place where American cars have shined. And a long history from Daytona being connected with Detroit, with Detroit cars, and with the spirit of America.''Which he looks forward to crushing with as little emotion as is non-humanely possible, as soon as he's elected this coming November.
Declining the opportunity to trash talk a car sponsored by his rival Rick Santorum, Romney instead replied, "I just hope they all have a good race.''
Or at least one more successful than his presidential one.
[image via Reuters]