Hey Ladies, Want A Job? Herman Cain's Got A Stimulus Package Designed Just For You!

Ah, remember the good old days when the conveniently vague, creepy sexual harassment accusations against everyone's favorite Black Walnut/Godfather of unwanted sexual advances Herman Cain were kept secret from the innocent, tender ears of the American people, so as to spare us the sordid details of all the gross sexytime things Herman Cain likes to say and do when harassing vulnerable, unsuspecting women looking for a job? (We know, we know, he just wanted to give her a position on his staff!).

Well thanks to Cain accuser #4, Sharon Bialek, it's blissful ignorance no more, my friends!

Sharon Bialek, accompanied by the celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred, became the first woman to publicly accuse the presidential candidate of sexual harassment, saying that she wants to “give a voice” to other women who might have been harassed by Mr. Cain during his tenure at the association.

Bialek detailed Cain's sexual overture, explaining that he spent money on a palatial hotel suite for her at the time of their meeting. When they saw each other in the evening, Bialek said he put his hand on her leg, "reached for [her] genitals" and pushed her head toward his crotch.

When Bialek objected, Cain asked her: "You want a job, right?"

After all, he is Herman Cain, America's premier job creator. Blow job creator, that is.

Bialek called on Cain to "come clean about what you did," saying: "Mr. Cain, I implore you, make this right."

Whatever do you mean, Sharon? Cain is already right when he continuously insists that those "harassment" charges are false, in that they are actually more like "assault."

Which is weird because Herman Cain always seemed so likeable, especially in non-rapey situations, like when preaching about electrocuting Mexicans, blaming poors for their own miserable, pathetic lives, and telling women what they can and cannot do with their tight li'l bods.

Almost as weird as not one, not two, not three, but four different women all having the very same ridiculous hogwash story about a man, no, make that a Herman, as perfectly innocent as every other serial sex harassing boss who helps a former employee get a job by groping her genitals. Herman Cain y'all!

From The New York Times:

In an interview after Ms. Bialek’s news conference, Joel P. Bennett, a lawyer for one of Mr. Cain’s anonymous accusers, said that Ms. Bialek’s claims were “very similar” in nature to the incident that occurred between his client and Mr. Cain.

“It corroborates the claim,” Mr. Bennett said of Ms. Bialek’s allegation. Asked whether that meant that Mr. Cain had physically touched his client inappropriately, Mr. Bennett said “I can’t get more specific” but added that “I can say it is corroborating.”

Ooooh, sounds sexy!

Oh, what, Uz no wanna Fucki-Fucki-Sucki-Sucki-Cain-Cain??

9-9-9!!!

Gee, some people just can't take no for an answer. Least of all Herman Cain.

Because much like being a real presidential candidate, he's simply not Abel!

[image via AP]