GOP Confused Over Obama's Reluctance To Nuke Iran

As democracy continued to blossom in Iran over the weekend, leaving a trail of death and destruction in its wake, President Obama remained decidedly cautious in his involvement, releasing a statement calling on the government "to stop all violent and unjust actions against its own people."

While Obama's calm, even-mannered approach has been praised by most foreign-policy experts, one group is not satisfied by Mr. Pussyfoot President over here. No sir-ee!

The Republicans are once again up in arms over Barack Obama's refusal to act like that brave hero George W. Bush and just go ahead and nuke the damn country. Remember, bomb first, ask questions later.

Like Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, who has had it up to here with the cool, rational approach of Sir Barry. "The president of the United States is supposed to lead the free world, not follow it. He's been timid and passive more than I would like."

Clearly, Sen. Graham is still nostalgic over the successful cowboy diplomacy of his predecessor, which entails a lot more than well thought out goals and long-term strategies. Good ass-whoopins usually do.

Not wanting Linds to feel left out, delightful Twitter bug and fellow outraged GOP Sen. Chuck Grassley, voiced his own disappointment at the Obama administration 's careful response to the growing violence and chaos gripping Iran. "If America stands for democracy and all of these demonstrations are going on ... obviously they are going to ask, do we really care about our principles?"

And unless we level the the damn place, how will they ever know how much?

But, some like Tom Malinowski, Washington advocacy director for Human Rights Watch, thinks Obama has struck the right balance. "Some people are saying 'bearing witness' is a passive stance, but I'm not sure what an active stance would be. What else could he do? The more the demands of the opposition become associated with the United States, the harder it will be for a spontaneous opposition movement in Iran to make progress."

True, but at least the Republicans can't call him pussy anymore. And what is more important than that?

The GOP's Got Talent!

Back To The Future: Romney, Pawlenty, Huckabee, Palin

With only one thousand-ish days before the 2012 presidential elections, the Republican field is brimming with talented potential candidates who can't wait to lose another election for the Grand Old Party.

No, no you're not having a Bill Murray Groundhog Day moment. This fresh-faced crop of Republican hopefuls features the same vibrant bunch of political superstars we saw in 2008, before that secret Muslim terrorist Barack Hussein Obama rode in on his high-horse of hope to steal the elections and ruin America.

Problem is Republican voters just can't decide which of these 2008 delights they like best: Sexy Alaskan princess Sarah Palin, Arkansas' adorable anti-fat crusader Mike Huckabee, or dreamy Mormon Ken doll Mittens "Mitt" Romney. As if that weren't hard enough, toss in Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty's hat into the ring and you my friend have yourself a royal Republican rumble not seen since '08!

"Republicans typically nominate someone familiar who's run for president before, such as Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bob Dole, and John McCain. But since the party appears to be in trouble right now, Republicans might want to do what Democrats typically do, and look for a fresh face," CNN Political Analyst Bill Schneider explained.

Eh, they'd much rather imitate the Democrats in that other time-honored tradition: Losing.

Si, Se Puede! Latino Voters Say Adios To John McCain

Uh-Oh. The already grim outlook for John McCain's White House aspirations just got a little darker, er lighter. Hispanic voters--previously one of McCain's strongest demographic groups--appear to be fleeing the straight-talk express at a rapido pace.

But where are they all running to you ask? Surely not to that godless celebrity terrorist Muslim Barack Obama.

Yes, it is true. Despite the Democrats poor track record with Hispanic voters in past elections, Latinos are suddenly going loco for Obama, helping Obama secure the broadest support from Latino voters of any Democrat in a decade.

On the flip side, John McCain has not fared quite so well. In fact, recent polls show McCain struggling to capture even 30 percent of the Latino vote, a far cry from Bush's historic 40% in 2004.

I guess Bush and McCain really are different after all!