McCain Returns To Washington Just In Time To Ruin Everything

Everything was going smoothly. Democrats and Republicans managed to cast aside their partisan differences long enough to craft a $700 billion dollar bailout plan to rescue the country from certain economic ruin. After hours of intense debate and scrutiny, lawmakers were finally on the verge of a breakthrough.

Disaster, it seemed, would be avoided.

But then in an instant everything changed. McCain went temporarily insane and decided it would be a good idea to "suspend his campaign" in a wholesome attempt to put politics aside and lead the nation through its current economic crisis.

Sen. McCain then boldly marched back into Washington just long enough to campaign about not-campaigning, poison the atmosphere with petty presidential politics, and swiftly crush all hopes of reaching any type of productive, bipartisan agreement.

Damn right he is ready to be President!