The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
After months of leading rival John McCain in almost every national poll, Barack Obama seemed to be cruising into the White House, his victory all but assured. But then the unthinkable happened.
John McCain came back from the dead.
Unlike Jesus before him, McCain's resurrection did not come from God or within (well, actually the God part is debatable, depending on who you ask). No, his Savior came in the form of a seductive Alaskan hunter moonlighting as legitimate politician.
Armed with his new "Trophy Vice," McCain enjoyed a huge surge in popularity, with post-convention polls showing him tied or, in some cases, even ahead of Obama for the first time since the campaign began. Finally, the Republicans had a celebrity to call their own! In one fell swoop (and several lipstick-on-animal references), the re-energized McCain campaign went from laughing joke to serious threat.
But like all good things must, this too, had to end. Less than three weeks after the McCain-Palin lovefest first started, Obama once again reclaimed his Mojo andhis rightful place atop the polls.
Apparently, it took the public approximately 21 days to realize that no amount of confetti and balloons could change the fact that McCain is still a creepy old guy, Sarah Palin is still the Antichrist, and Barack Obama is still infinitely cooler, smarter and better than we'll ever be.