Racist College Republican Bake Sale Proves That When It Comes To The GOP, Racism Is Black & White (Cookies)

UC Berkeley College Republicans (yes, apparently, they do exist!) are all hot 'n bothered about a terrible (Socialist?) new affirmative action law by hippie-dippie California governor Jerry Brown that would allow state universities to consider race, gender, ethnicity and national origin in admission applications.

Oh the humanity!

Because everyone (aka 20-something white Republican males) knows affirmative action is terribly racist against the real victims, the ever-persecuted white male, and to prove this notion once and for all, they will hold a bake sale that is racist against everyone else.

White power y'all!

Which, in the dumb, half-baked minds of a misguided, racist GOP student body, means holding a dumb, racist, half-baked GOP student bake sale, where stoned white males with a hankerin' for something sweet have to pay $2 per cupcake, while everybody else pays a couple quarters less for their baked good of choice, depending on skin color, gender, and of course, a wonderful, randomly assigned scale of "this is how much less than a white guy you are worth."

To, ummm, prove a point!?

Asian Americans? That'll be a $1.50. Latinos? Just $1.00 please. Blacks? Oh, they are very cheap compared to white guys, only $0.75. Native Americans? Even better, only $0.25 a pop! That's practically dirt! Doesn't get much more worthless than that.

And remember people, ladies are worth 25 cents less than men across the board. So word to the wise, find some nice black and/or Native American ladies on campus and you my friend, will be able to stuff your face with all the cupcakes and cream puffs your diabetic li'l heart desires. On the cheap!

From CNN:

“We agree that the event is inherently racist, but that is the point,” Berkeley College Republican President Shawn Lewis wrote in response to upheaval over the bake sale.

"We agree that the event is inherently racist, but..." is also the GOP platform.

“It is no more racist than giving an individual an advantage in college admissions based solely on their race (or) gender.”

Right, of course! Just like saying eight black women are worth one white guy is racist against white guys.

Which is weird because I was always under the impression that black guy snacks (wait or was it black guys??) should cost 3/5 of the "normal" price.

One white, err, vanilla cupcake, please!

[image via Wonkette]

Crazy President Obama Thinks College Should Be Affordable, Accessible

Y'all Watch Out Now!

The man allegedly known as President Barack Hussein Obama is on the attack again. This time, the latest victim of his terror campaign is none other than the (soaring) cost of higher education.

On Friday, President Obama did what he does best--other than read from teleprompters--by dazzling the media with policy ideas that are the complete opposite from a certain George W. Bush, in that they make sense and actually help people.

This time, that maniac Obama renewed a campaign promise to eliminate the Federal Family Education Loan program, costing taxpayers a nifty $15 million each day, so financial aid can go directly to students, instead of to banks and other weaselly "middle men" who turn oh-so-nice profits from this legal student slave-trade system.

"There are few things as fundamental to the American dream or as essential as a good education," Obama said. Yet, "we have a student loan system where we are giving lenders billions of dollars in wasteful subsidies."

Calling the system a "a paradox of American life that threatens to widen the gap between the haves and have-nots," Obama claims the change would save at least $48 billion over the next 10 years—money that could be funneled to student aid.

And why the hell would anyone want to do that?

Republicans are obviously concerned about the costs of that (and anything that doesn't involve war and torture) and lenders are naturally opposed to this (and any other) crazy new idea which threatens to end a historically lucrative business of fleecing poor, struggling students so fat cat bankers can feast on fresh lobster tails and Dom Perignon for breakfast.

If everyone can afford to go to college, who the hell is gonna catch all those delectable creatures of the sea for them?

Not like Barry cares or anything, since arugula-eating elitists don't do the whole "ocean thing."