Showing posts with label Drew Peterson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drew Peterson. Show all posts

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Game Over For Illinois' Favorite Lego-Haired Crime Boss



In what was no doubt a stunning conclusion to the two-month trainwreck known as Rod Blagojevich's political career, the Illinois Senate unanimously voted 59-0 to immediately turn the esteemed Gov. into just another Mr. with a bad mouth and even worse hair style.

The conviction gives Mr. Blagojevich the wonderful distinction of being the first U.S. governor in more than 20 years to be removed by impeachment. Not to mention, the only IL governor to be ousted from a state that has seen four of its governors indicted on corruption charges since 1968. Quite a feat, my friend!

But don't think this is the end for Illinois' fearless crusader of justice. You don't get stripped of a bleeping golden thing like the governor's office and just quietly walk away with your dignity in tact to go prepare for the upcoming criminal trial you will also likely lose.

No, no, no. You continue to embarrass yourself, family, and every citizen of humanity on your farewell sojourn to join the rest of America in the unemployment line.

There, you will have plenty of time to plot your next fool-proof strategy to win over the hearts of Illinois citizens (and potential jurors) and show what an honest, decent, straight-shooting guy you really are.

If you play your cards right, you just might be able to get Drew Peterson on the stand as a character witness. Can you say trump card?


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

'Til Death Do Us Part?


Fifth Time's A Charm?

Lady magnet and suspected murderer of two of his four former wives, former police sergeant Drew Peterson has captured the heart of another strapping, young twenty-something with good looks and an apparent death wish.

Christina Raines, the current girlfriend of Drew Peterson, is so smitten with her man that she has decided to move into his Chicago-area home, along with her two young children, despite accusations that he killed not one, but two former wives who also looked like they could be his daughter.

So, congratulations to Miss Christina Raines and her exceptional taste in men for beating some steep competition to win the "Drew Peterson Lottery."

I guess some women just have all the luck.


"Um, 911, I Think My Husband's Trying To Kill Me!"