Dana Perino's Just Thankful Facts And Sanity Don't Matter To Fox News

Dim-witted golden-haired starlet Dana Perino was apparently too busy dusting Ronnie Reagan figurines in the White House attic to remember a certain Tuesday in September, 2001 when some real meanie terrorists decided to crash two planes into the twin towers, killing some 3,000 people, sending the nation into panic, and forever altering the course of history.

Unlike the recent Fort Hood shooting which the Obama administration is clearly too pussy to label a terrorist attack, the perpetrators of 9/11 weren't al-Qaeda operatives or anything because everyone (and certainly the former White House spokesperson) knows there were NO TERRORIST ATTACKS ON AMERICA during George W. Bush's presidency. The man kept us as safe and snug as Junebugs in summer, she'll have you know!

And since the network behind Dana's mind-blowing revelation happens to be Fox News, it naturally doesn't matter if the statement is true, rational, or in Ms. Perino's case, the biggest load of bullsh*t ever told, so long as the lingering effect is lightly-veiled racism masked by ignorance.

Which helps explains why, upon hearing an actual George W. Bush White House spokesperson saying the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history never actually happened at all, or at least not under King Georgy's watch, neither Sean Hannity nor Fox's token head-shaking "expert" cause he sounds all smart and Britishy, bats an eye.

Welcome to the new Fox News reality, that magical happy place where some brainless testosterone ball with a thick neck and even thicker New Jersey accent passes as a respectable journalist and hot former press secretaries can sound more insane than the drunk homeless schizophrenic woman who lives in the ally across the street.

So kudos to Dana for retroactively preventing the non-terrorist attacks of 9/11 by reminding us who was not(?) president, responsible (or reading to children at the Emma E. Booker Elementary School) at the exact moment the first plane (and second...) hit the tower and also for having the guts to tell us simpletons what a terrible terrorist attack is--Obama and Fort Hood--and what it isn't--Bush and 9/11.

For all 13 and 3,000 reasons, respectively.

President John McCain will now present you with the Nobel Peace Prize he just won but can't accept because of integrity and also cause he's afraid of Liz Cheney.

The Un-PC Truth About Major Hasan's Schizo Rampage At Fort Hood

Major Nidal Malik Hasan, At Your Service

I hate to say 20/20 hindsight, but turns out there may have been some warning signs that unraveling Army psychiatrist Major Nidal Malik Hasan was hanging by a thread long before deciding to turn his simmering rage and frustration into one of the worst rampages in U.S. military history.

So basically the U.S. military and at least one intelligence(?) agency had Major Hasan on their radar and were well aware that he was an increasingly erratic, ticking time-bomb who openly professed his desire to see this infidel star-and-striped whore burn in fiery hell of apocalyptic proportions for years before deciding to rampage through Fort Hood, massacring 13 people in a haze of bullets, blood, and chaos.

I guess you could also say Hasan was a tad upset about his pending deployment to Afghanistan considering he would rather burn in the fire of a thousand infidels than defend this blood-sucking pox on the Muslim brotherhood we call America and warned senior Army physicians in 2007 that the military would be wise to allow Muslim soldiers to be released as conscientious objectors if they wanted to avoid "adverse events." Hmmm, wonder what he meant by that?

Not wanting to jump to any rash conclusions, however, investigators are still trying to "determine if the attack was motivated by the suspect's Islamic religious beliefs, which appear to have hardened markedly during the years he spent in the Army, or by other factors, like his anger over a pending deployment to Afghanistan."

It's so hard to tell sometimes! Never mind Hasan's growing disconnect, repeated attempts to reach out to Al-Qaeda, vocal justification of suicide bombings, poor performance reviews, and constant spewing of anti-American hatred during classroom presentations praising Muslims because "We love death more then [sic] you love life!"

"There were definitely clear indications that Hasan's loyalties were not with America," Hasan's classmate at the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences in Bethesda, Maryland, Lt. Col. Val Finnell said.

"When you are in the military and you start making comments that are seditious, when you say you believe something other than your oath of office — someone needed to say why is this guy saying this stuff."

"He was a lightning rod. He made his views known and he was very vocal, he had extremely radical jihadist views," Finnell said. "When you're a military officer you take an oath to defend against all enemies foreign and domestic."

"They should've confronted him — our professors, officers — but they were too concerned about being politically correct."

Of course Fox News' Bill O' Reilly concedes the sad PC truth that since we "can't kill all the Muslims" (I know, I know--lame!) we'll have to settle for winning as many hearts and minds of good moderate Muslims as we can, which means avoiding the term "Muslim terrorist" at all costs.

Which really grinds Papa Bear's gears! Considering official U.S. anti-terrorism policy is still basically "run around the Middle East for 10-20 years and try to kill all the Muslims," President Obama's supposed avoidance of labeling the attack an "act of terror" is simply outrageous and downright un-American!

In fact, it seems suspiciously like something a secret Muslim terrorist President would do.