No Rest For The Weary: Obama and Co. Return Home From Hawaii

Well, well is this anyway to spend a vacation? Suddenly Mr. President of slacking thinks it's just fine to eat snow cones and spend time with his family while the rest of us losers are left freezing, bored, and terrified that the only thing separating us from fiery death 20,000ft above ground isn't our top notch homeland security, but rather the incompetence of a single virgin-crazed Nigerian.

At least Rush Limbaugh had the common decency to have a heart attack during his Hawaiian vacation.

Not our playboy president. Instead, spending fun-filled hours in the sun talking to NSC chief of staff Denis McDonough and Homeland security and counterterrorism adviser John Brennan about the Christmas Day bomber that failed to properly explode and how in Allah's name this al-Qaeda wannabe on the no-fly list managed to mosey his way onto a flight with some explosives in his undies and no one batted an eye until he turned into a badly burned bag of gourmet Jiffy Pop.


So welcome home, lazybones.

At least our last President knew how to take a vacation like a real, responsible commander-in-chief. It's the remaining 250 days a year that gave him trouble.

Sarah Palin Now Forced to Quit Vacation For Being Too Famous

Life is hard when you're the world's most famous Alaskan!

You can't do ANYTHING without like a million paparazzi buzzing about, stalking your every move while you and your nice family enjoy an exotic getaway to Barack Obama's alleged birthplace Hawaii after a grueling few months driving around the country in a giant homage to yourself to make millions of dollars selling 432 pages of pure fiction about how you're really a decent hardworking person instead of some psycho wench who calls her baby retarded every other minute.

So, thanks to the terrible liberal media elite, Sarah Palin was once again forced to quit something she loved all because she drew on her visor with a marker because she simply hates John McCain loves Goin' Rogue or whatever.

"In an attempt to 'go incognito,' I Sharpied the logo out on my sun visor so photographers would be less likely to recognize me and bother my kids or other vacationers."

"I am so sorry if people took this silly incident the wrong way. I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago."

"Todd and I have since cut our vacation short because the incognito attempts didn't work and fellow vacationers were bothered for the two days we spent in the sun. So much for trying to go incognito."

So THANKS A LOT journalists, photographers and other COMMUNISTS! Apparently, Sarah's very important Ten Media Commandments which all members must abide by if they wish to see, talk, record, photograph, or even so much as glance at her highness, means nothing to you people!

Gosh darn it! Whatever is a maverick who quit her job, abandoned her state, and sold her soul for fame, fortune, and a full-time road trip to do?

Ugh, she better hurry up and bitch all about it on Facebook, Twitter, and all the other non-mainstream media hideouts she loves so much before someone else suffers the same terrible fate of being forced to quit layin' on a Hawaiian beach after the exhausting task of signing their name like a billion freakin' times for all the annoying adoring fans waiting for hours for the once-in-a-lifetime chance to rub elbows with the world-famous Wasilla wonder herself, Sarah Barracuda Palin.

The #1 most successful quitter the world has ever seen! Just try finding something this girl won't quit. Seriously, I double dare you.

Betcha you can't!

Obama Gives Public Early Christmas Gift

Bringing Sexy Back!

While most of America freezes to death, freewheelin' sex symbol Barry Obama vacationed in Hawaii, soaking up the sun and showing off his rock-hard abs.

Instead of using boring words to answer questions over his controversial choice to have evangelical minister and Prop 8-supporting Pastor Rick Warren deliver the invocation at his inauguration, Barack Obama thought it best to allay gay leaders' fears by showing a little solidarity instead.

And what better way than strolling half-naked on a beach, all hot and sweaty, with the sun beating down to cast a perfect silhouette against your chiseled chest and tight, rippling muscles?

More Than Just Eye Candy