Step Aside, Leroy Brown-There's A New Baddest Man In Town!

Aw, hell no, AIG! In case you forgot, there's a new sheriff in town. And this one ain't f**king around. He means business.

But not the kind of business the wonderful folks over at AIG are used to. You know, the kind that fleeces $173 billion from the public in order to reward the brilliant CEO's who ran one of the world's largest insurance companies into the toilet (a gold-encrusted one, mind you) with millions in well-deserved bonuses. $165 million to be exact. Which should be just enough to cover a few personal aircraft carriers, poolside villas, high-class hookers and other business essentials.

That is until ball-buster Barack Obama started calling the shots, and suddenly it's not cool to reward executive "recklessness and greed" with lowly taxpayer money. The same losers who can't even pay their mortgage.

The latest corporate outrage got Obama so choked up with saliva anger, that at one point, he could hardly get anything out except for a few, furious coughs.

Once he regained control of his digestive juices, Obama promised to “pursue every single legal avenue to block these bonuses and make the American taxpayers whole.”

“This isn’t just a matter of dollars and cents. It’s about our fundamental values.”

All 173 billion of them.

Hold It Right There, AIG!