Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Birthermercial: The Worst Thing To Happen To Birthers Since Orly Taitz!



Just when you thought the whackjobs and weirdos behind the Obama birther movement couldn't stoop any lower than trusting a Russian-born California real-estate agent-attorney-dentist to lead the feverish charge against the illegitimate presidency of Kenya's own Barack Hussein Obama, out comes a new birther infomercial. The world's first-ever birthermercial!

Yes, my friends, for the bargain basement price of $30 you too can get your very own "got a birth certificate?" bumper sticker and have your name added to a spam fax sent to the Justice Department and the 50 state Attorneys General demanding that that Mr. NObama produce his real birth certificate and not the "certificate of live birth" bologna they keep shoving down our throats. I mean enough is enough people!

But that's not all. Act now and you too can get a "special look at where Barack Hussein Obama was really born" courtesy of the community-access production values, heavy use of menacing string music and, as always, the sketchy used car salesmen-like stars you'd expect from a birthermercial.

Men like attorney and executive director of the birther group United States Justice Foundation, Gary Kreep, who ironically is nothing like his thick wire-rimmed glasses, squirly mustache, greasy hair, cheap unmatching suit, and LAST NAME would suggest. Nothing at all. Promise!

Same goes for producer and host of the program, fundamentalist Christian minister Bill Keller, who found God shortly after finding himself imprisoned on an insider trading conviction in the late 1980s.

In between interviews with Kreep and tempting viewers with their specially-created 'got a birth certificate?' bumper stickers, Keller kindly reminds those watching to add their name to "a petition going to GOP leaders to force President Obama to obey the law."

"Thank you for watching this very special presentation. This is a legitimate issue. Don't let people tell you otherwise. If the man was not born in Hawaii as he claims, he is not legally president."

Sort of like if the man found Jesus while in San Quentin, he is not legally qualified to be trusted on anything except producing some of the most God-awful, embarrassing blight of paid programming the world has ever seen. Snuggie included.

2 comments:

Paul said...

We are all adults here, and as adults we know there are consequences for are actions, so if you do not agree with his policies, you can a) do nothing, b) support him, c) not support him, d) protest and picket, its your choice, live the dream! As for Orly Taitz, to this point she has not been successful because she does not have any proof, documentation supporting her claims except her wild rants. I would not bet the farm on this one. She has a mail-order-degree get someone with real credentials (Harvard, Yale Law School) not a Russian immigrant with dual US/ Israel citizenship (where are her allegiances?). Have you even thought of who is paying for all these filings her travel, her wigs? Sorry she has no juice because she does not have any proof, documentation supporting her claims except her wild rants. I heard they are now playing the victim card as well. Please, feel sorry for us the “Birth Certificate” that we built our entire case around and that we have been dancing around turn out to be a big “Fake”. Her material might work on “Fake News” but not in a Court of the United States.

phuckpolitics said...

Why didn't I think of this brilliant scam?