Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Bright Future Of GOP Shining Star Joe "You Lie" Wilson

It was supposed to be another just another boring night of Barack Obama speaking eloquently to the peoples about his newest plans to ruin America by sending roving, bureaucratic death panels to pull the plug on grandma and provide affordable insurance to the rest of us schlubs.

But nooooooo. One Republican freedom-fighter by the name of Joe Wilson couldn't just sit idly by in quiet respect while this man, no this President, lied to the American people about what providing affordable, quality health insurance to those millions of Americans unable to pull themselves up by their boot straps really means. It means the unraveling of society as we know it! All cause of these poor losers!

Only one brave hero had the bold, unadulterated courage to defy hundreds of years of congressional decorum (and common human decency) and stand up to this presidential tyrant by shouting "You lie" at the alleged President of the United States during his prime-time speech to the world.

So go Joe!! You've succeeded in making douchebag history as the biggest Republican embarrassment since, well, the last Republican to open their mouth in public in the Obama era.

But, this Congressional MVP isn't done there. No sir-ee! Winning the Internets for the Republicans for one whole day was just the beginning of Joe Wilson's illustrious career serving the good people of this nation as the esteemed Rep. from South Carolina.

He's gonna be a star!

But not the kind that shines brightly in the sky for billions of years, more the kind that consumes itself until its core collapses in a violent nuclear explosion that destroys our planet in a fiery death of apocalyptic proportions.

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