Wednesday, June 17, 2009

How Do You Say Republicans Are Losers In 140 Characters Or Less?


GOP Rep. Eric Cantor's Loves His Crackberry!

What could be more fun than a bunch of bumbling Republicans attempting to reach young voters through the Internets only to find that this series of tubes is harder to use than they thought? Nothing that's what!

A delightful pattern has emerged among Republican hipsters eager to utilize all the new social-networking sites out there. It's one embarrassing racist debacle after another, but the GOP has at least managed to accomplish one thing: offend just about everyone.

Of course, we must first tip our hats to "off the hook" online media master Michael Steele whose hip-hop media blitz first took the political scene by storm, showing peeps the GOP's down with the 'net too. For real dawg!

Honorable mention goes to tech savvy former Minnesota Sen. Norm Coleman who understands that in this technological age it's either do or die. Which is why he urges his fellow Republicans to start competing on the Ethernet--cause that's where it's all going down. Kind of like his career.

Which brings us to our most recent tech abominations, courtesy of two GOP operatives hailing from North Carolina's red-headed stepchild, South Carolina. Where else?

First, there's prominent South Carolina Republican activist Rusty DePass whose brilliant ability to use Facebook resulted in him likening First Lady Michelle Obama to an escaped gorilla.

Assuring readers not to worry about a gorilla escape at a Columbia, S.C., zoo, this salt-of-the-earth politician posted a Facebook message, saying, "I'm sure it's just one of Michelle's ancestors - probably harmless."

Forced to apologize by crazy liberal bloggers and the Jew-controlled media, DePass said he was sorry if he offended anyone since the comment was clearly in jest and just a response to the First Lady's ludicrous statement that man descended from apes. Yeah, and the Earth revolves around the sun I suppose. What's next? Thunder isn't actually God burping?

Next is fellow South Carolinian Mike Green, who like his GOP counterparts, loves to use all the exciting new technologies to connect with supporters and send out hilariously racist Tweets against Muslim terrorist President Barack Obama.

Like this delightful byte: I JUST HEARD THAT OBAMA IS GOING TO IMPOSE A 40% TAX ON ASPIRIN BECAUSE IT'S WHITE AND IT WORKS.

Hahahaha. Both hysterical and factual! They must be taking their cue from Republican Sen. Charles Grassley who exploded onto the Twitter scene with his uncanny ability to transform a stodgy, 75-year-old elder statesman into a shrieking teeny bopper who haaaaates grammar but loooooooves the Jonas Brothers. OMG, LOL!

GTG (Ugh, 'rents can be so annoying!) CUL8R, Alligator.

2 comments:

The Warden said...

Man, I thought this South Carolina story was an Onion parody until I clicked on the link. Stay classy, GOP. They couldn't lose more votes if they set out to deliberately sabotage their party.

Anonymous said...

Oh, okay. That makes sense. Because republicans are losers. And now you are discriminating against Jews? And PRESIDENT OBAMA!!!! U SUCK!!!! Oh, really how old are you? What, like 20, 25, and you still live with your parents????? WOW U R SUCH A LOSER U STUPID REDNECK