Mama Bear Sarah Palin Protects Her Young

Thank You, Thank You

Well, well, well, what have we got here? It's none other than cuddly Republican superstars Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and George W. Bush! So what brings this unlikely trio of intellectuals together, you ask?

This past week has seen them each utter pearls of wisdom so inspiring, they deserve an awards ceremony all their own. Hmm, why don't we call it the "Say Whaaaat?" awards and check out our esteemed trophy-winners.

And the gold goes to...None other than America's fave snow bunny, Sarah Palin, for exposing "pathetic" late night comedian David Letterman as the despicable pedophile and woman-hating monster that he is.

Mr. Funnyman decided to slap Miss Palin and the rest of the women in this country in the face by joking about, "An awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, when during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

Omg, the nerve! It's one thing to make fun of her oldest daughter, 18-year-old abstinence crusader and unwed mother of one, Bristol Palin. But to go after their young and supple 14-year-old daughter Willow? For shame! Can Sarah ever find it in her big Alaskan heart to forgive the sicko?

"I will always forgive whomever is asking for forgiveness. It goes beyond, though, David Letterman's crude, sexist, perverted joke about a 14-year-old girl being, quote-unquote, "knocked up by Alex Rodriguez." I think he's like 30-some years old. I think that that's, you know, pretty perverted."

Wink, wink.

Not one to like second-place honors, sadly George W. Bush came up just short of the gold, claiming the silver-medal for his brilliant words about his papa George H.W. Bush skydiving on his 85th birthday.

"Just because you're old, that doesn't mean you can't do fun stuff. And you don't want to sit around drooling in the corner. And so it's a wonderful release...And you know, because I was president it sends a message all around. Go out and get something doing. Just 'cause...old guys can still have fun and still do stuff."

Alright, now please "get something doing" like jump out of a plane. Sans the parachute. Hehe, if you're manly enough. Y'all catch my drift?

Last but not least we have Rush Limbaugh, whose savvy words about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor's broken ankle earned him bronze-medal honors as the biggest loser of all the winners. Yeah!

"I hope [Sotomayor] can find a wise Latina doctor to set that ankle, as opposed to an average white doctor."

Don't be silly Rush. I'm sure you can recommend a good one, seeing as you have so much experience doctor-shopping and all.