Poor Mark Sanford has had a very rough year.
The man's had to tearfully admit to a lot of sketchy behavior and pretty much constantly lying about everything, including a certain, little-known Appalachian Trail that leads to adulterous sex in Argentina.
With all these baseless new ethics probes over his travel and personal expenses, not to mention the growing pressure from South Carolina lawmakers and the Republican Party to resign, Mark is starting to understand what it's like to be Sarah Palin. And, it ain't easy!
Luckily, like his Alaskan soul mate, Mark Sanford answers to a calling higher than the "selective outrage" of fellow Republicans and the majority of South Carolina voters.
The "politics of personal destruction" mean squat if you have God on your side.
"I feel absolutely committed to the cause, to what God wanted me to do with my life," he said. "I have got this blessing of being engaged in a fight for liberty, which is constantly being threatened."
Because he is so blessed AND on the front lines in the epic battle for freedom, Sanford wants America to know he has absolutely NO REASON to start that terrible rumor that his bitter rival, Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, who has publicly called for Sanford's resignation, is a big fat GAY!
He would never stoop to to such lows! Must have been those other guys who hate Bauer and have every reason in the world to discredit him.
In fact, the Governor's office suspects it may be the same terrible people who've been dragging Gov. Sanford good name through the mud all this time just "for trying to change the 'good ol' boy' system of politics in Columbia."
And they think it's high-time to end these vicious, unsubstantiated character assassinations, whoever the target may be. Particularly innocent, philandering governors who bankrupt their state, not fag Lt. Governors. who hold their elected leaders accountable for their actions. Hiking trails to infidelity and all!