Michele Bachmann Urges You To Slit Your Wrists For Freedom!

Unstable Minnesota hellwoman Michele Bachman traveled all the way from the wilds of her congressional district to a faraway land called Denver to call upon her fellow conservative warriors to join together in the fight against President Obama's evil, socialist plot to reform health care.

"This cannot pass," Michele told the crowd. "What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass."

"Something is way crazy out there," she said. "Right now, we are looking at reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom. And we may never be able to restore it if we don't man up and take this one on."

"This is slavery," Bachmann explained after claiming many Americans pay half their income to taxes. "It’s nothing more than slavery."

Oh no! We must protect freedoms' guts...from Obama! So quick, everyone slit their wrists and bleed to death to protest affordable health care. It's the only way to save America from the apocalypse of universal coverage and break free from the bitter shackles of income tax slavery.

Oops, with all this talk of blood and guts, I almost forgot my manners...

Ladies first. After you, my dear Michele!!