Master Of Delusion Newt Gingrich Buys Fake Twitter Followers To Go Along With Everything Else In His Life

OMG, LOLZ. White-haired swamp creature and master of the Twittervirse Newt Gingrich's presidential campaign may be on life support, but unlike his first wife, that doesn't mean ol' Newt's going to leave it to die, cold and alone, on a hospital bed.

Sure, his campaign is over $1 million in debt, the perpetual butt of all late-night talk show jokes, and he is consistently polling several points below "no one/none of the above" among likely GOP voters, but there's still one place Newt shines brighter than one of the Callista's precious Tiffany's diamonds: Twitter!

It's true! Just look at the 1.3 million living, breathing, carbon-based, life forms following Sir Newton's 140-character nonsense declarations about what he ate for lunch (pizza) and why illegal secret Muslim terrorist Socialists from Kendonesia are waaaaay worse for America than serial adulterers who lie, steal, cheat, and marry alien women who eat luxury jewelry, not food, for sustenance.

Oh wait! Turns out that a whopping 92% of Newt's alleged Twitter followers are actually not real at all, but rather comprised of the same fictional stuff Newt's presidential dreams are made of.

A new report suggests that 92 percent of Newt Gingrich’s 1.3 million Twitter followers are not real. The networking search firm PeekYou, which has been trying to determine the quality of Twitter audiences, examined Gingrich’s account. The firm uses 23 criteria—including name, location, and inbound and outbound links—to figure out which online users are real or fake. After analyzing each of Gingrich’s followers, they determined that only 106,055, or 8 percent, were real people. A spokesman for the company said, “The huge majority of his followers are either completely anonymous people who have no other Web presence, or they are spambots.”

Ooooh, so that's what Callista is! Let's just hope he doesn't lose the start-up disk for her, or he's screwed.

According to one of the Newt's corporate bought spambots former staffers:

Newt employs a variety of agencies whose sole purpose is to procure Twitter followers for people who are shallow/insecure/unpopular enough to pay for them. As you might guess, Newt is most decidedly one of the people to which these agencies cater.
About 80 percent of those accounts are inactive or are dummy accounts created by various “follow agencies,” another 10 percent are real people who are part of a network of folks who follow others back and are paying for followers themselves (Newt’s profile just happens to be a part of these networks because he uses them, although he doesn’t follow back), and the remaining 10 percent may, in fact, be real, sentient people who happen to like Newt Gingrich. If you simply scroll through his list of followers you’ll see that most of them have odd usernames and no profile photos, which has to do with the fact that they were mass generated. Pathetic, isn’t it?

Pathetic? Only if you live in reality, my friend, only if you live in reality. Besides, I'm almost positive that @Tiffany's Accounting Department is a real follower.

Meanwhile, a Gingrich campaign aide blasted the list-rigging claim, tweeting that it was "a false accusation which will hurt the feelings of 1.3 million people. #rude."

Yes, were sure @041113846806103's feelings are very hurt. In fact, he's probably crying himself to sleep(mode) as we speak.