OMG! Lindsey Graham's Vote For Elena Kagan Ensures He'll Lose His Next Election To Some White Hood 'N Robe Wearin' Patriot Who Thinks Less But Hates More

 Dick Durbin Whispers Sweet Nothings To Lindsey Graham As John Cornyn Jealously Fumes...

The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to advance questionably lesbian, definitely Socialist softball player Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination to the full Senate by a vote of 13 to 6, split almost entirely along party lines (OMG, that's craziness!) except for that one terrible South Carolina traitor Lindsey Graham, who voted "You go girl, woo-woo!" the only Republican to break rank and vote in favor of one of Comrade Barry's arugula eating, elitist, Ivy educated liberal activist judges who will destroy America.

His reason for such Grand Old treachery?

Although Graham said Kagan was “not someone he would have chosen,” and there were “100 reasons” he could vote against her if he based his vote on her philosophy, he gayly decided to vote on her being qualified to hold the position, not based on the party of the evil man who nominated her.

Said Graham: "I'm going to vote for her because I believe this last election has consequences."

He said she met a time-honored standard for judicial nominees: that they be qualified and of good character, and even though she was not the nominee he would have chosen (she's not his type apparently), “the person who did choose — President Obama — I think chose wisely.”

"Senators shouldn't replace the president's judgment with their own, but merely ask, is the nominee qualified, of good character, and a judge, not a politician? To that, Graham answered yes."

OMG, hahahaha, he is soooooo going to lose his next primary now! They don't take too kindly to reason down in South Carolina!

But, on the bright side, if they ever do allow dem gays to gay marry, Dick Durbin has dibs on Lindsey poo who he'd just loooooove to make his bride-groom.

Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, the second-ranking Democrat in the Senate, said that Mr. Graham’s remarks had made him rethink his own approach to judicial nominations — including the decision by Democrats several years ago to prevent Miguel Estrada, a prominent conservative lawyer, from getting a hearing before the committee when President George W. Bush nominated Mr. Estrada to a federal appeals court.

Ooooooooh, how adorable!

Of Mr. Graham, Mr. Durbin said: “I reflected on some of the things that I have said and how I have voted in the past, and thought that perhaps his statement suggested a better course.”

Aww, you kids sure are cute! Never mind what those sore-loser Republican naysayers try and tell you, you two belong together, because like Bristol & Levi showed us all, true love cannot be denied! (Even if it can be boycotted by the bride's dreadful, icy-cold hearted Mother!) But just be sure to keep your Senate job, Dick, (or at least don't let Blago sell it just yet) because Lindsey is so getting fired.

Richard Quinn, a Graham consultant, defended his client — noting that the Senator is “not a demagogue”. Added Quinn: “He’s a thinking person’s conservative. I expect him to do well among voters with IQ’s in triple digits.”

Umm, yeah except those two things don't exist anymore. If you said he's a comatose person's conservative who you expect to do well among voters with IQ's somewhere between Forrest Gump and Joey Tribbiani, then absolutely! But hey, good luck with that, Linds! We're totally rooting for you!

Quinn also noted that it's more than four years before Graham faces voters again; "There will be many battles fought, lost and won between now and then."

Which leaves plenty of time for the Republicans to find a suitable KKK grand wizard, Jesus freak creationist, mentally ill born again anything, homophobic closet case, family values Appalachian trail-blazing adulterer, or plain ol' ignorant pillar of Jim Crow-lovin' racist white trash to take on (and keep your fingers crossed!) unseat a bleeding heart liberal like Lindsey Benedict Arnold Graham, and have the distinct privilege of serving alongside the inimitable Alvin Greene.

This being South Carolina and all, surely the appeal of serving your state with a young, black, inexplicably unemployed, possibly perverted shut-in of mysterious origins with no political experience or actual knowledge to discern, who might also be mentally retarded, is reason enough.

Not that another reason is needed when the chance to give the ol' heave-ho to Lindsey Graham is involved!

South Carolina has had quite enough sensible senators with brains not grits between their ears, who think for themselves, and vote based on what's best for their country, not what's best for the handful of crazed rightwing kooks who've hijacked their Party ever since blacky NObama hijacked their White House.

C'mon, South Carolina, have you no pride (not the gay kind, obvs!)? Return to your non-existent Southern senses! Oh, what, you're gonna sit back and let Kentucky or Texas show you up, and claim your rightful place as the undisputed King of the Crazies. For shame, South Carolina, for shame!

We always thought you were better than that! Everyone expected so much more from the redheaded stepchild of North Carolina. Guess we should've known better when you elected that thinking man with a girl's name who not only sort of looks like an old lesbo but votes for 'em too! And doesn't even hate gross poor people or charming black Democratic presidents just for trying to help save the country from reckless Republican-led ruin.

Ugh! Now Elena Kagan will be confirmed and South Carolina can stop thinking it's Commie California or whatever, and go back to being the backwards cesspool of illiteracy, obesity and adulterous sex.

The way God intended.

Pat Buchanan Has Seen Quite Enough Christ Killing Jews Nominated To The Supreme Court, Thank You Very Much

Actual insane person and shameless anti-Semite Pat Buchanan took to his syndicated column on fringe major news network, MSNBC, to ask the one question on everyone's mind following President Obama's heretical nomination of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court.

No, no not the whole does playing softball make you an automatic lezzie question. Get your mind out of the gutter, people!

The other big question people keep asking themselves, after realizing that not one, not two, but THREE dirty Jews will soon be sitting on the Court, thanks to Comrade Barry's Bolshevik plot to do away with Christianity (and good, white, civilized people) once and for all!

"If Kagan is confirmed, Jews, who represent less than 2 percent of the U.S. population, will have 33 percent of the Supreme Court seats," Buchanan wrote. "Is this the Democrats' idea of diversity?"

How else would the pesky Jews be able to control the banks and media in Christian America?

You see, Uncle Pat understands your concerns. Believe me he does! Why else would he feel the same frustrations as all those black leaders expressing disappointment over Kagan hiring way too many white people while Dean of Harvard Law?

Because as a white Christian male in America, he has been through it all. The shame, humiliation, degradation, discrimination, and persecution that comes with being a person of no color in today's America. He feels your pain, brothas!

But while leaders in the black community may be upset, the folks who look more like the real targets of liberal bias are white Protestants and Catholics, who still constitute well over half of the U.S. population.
Not in living memory has a Democratic president nominated an Irish, Italian or Polish Catholic, though these ethnic communities once gave the party its greatest victories in the cities and states of the North.
What happened to the party of the Daleys, Rizzos and Rostenkowskis?
And not in nearly half a century has a Democratic president nominated a white Protestant or white Catholic man or woman.

Thank goodness there is still one party with the good sense and common decency to nominate pure, white judges, instead of one Christ-killer after another!

Otherwise, where in sweet heavens (or fiery hell) would all the poor, persecuted white Christians go once America is completely overrun by terrible Jews, homosexuals, abortionists, and assorted other causes of God's wrath in the form of catastrophic disasters like hurricanes, terrorist attacks, oil spills, and other indisputable proof that God hates sinners.

So, sorry, Jews! Maybe next time you'll pick the right Testament to follow and son of God to worship and then maybe people will like you instead of trying to kill, or convert and save you from eternal damnation and hellfire.
Not to mention the wonders that getting rid of those horns will do.

On the bright side, at least now Sarah Palin won't mistake you for a wild moose or elk when spraying lead bullets from her personal aerial hunting 'copter 10,000 ft above ground, just as Jesus Would Have Done.
If those damn Jews didn't get to him first, that is.

Oh No! Obama Picks Liberal, Jewish Woman Who May Or May Not Be A Real Live Lezzie As Next Supreme Bench Warmer

So the world came to a screeching halt last night when the lamestream media made it official (even if the White House didn't) that President Barack Obama had chosen the next Supreme robe to fill the large, liberal shoes of John Paul Stevens, who after decades of dedicated bench warming, was apparently ready to return to his hard rock roots, and reunite with his old band Led Zeppelin. Or something like that.

In any event, the important news is that Elena Kagan, former Harvard Law School Dean, U.S. Solicitor General (whatever that is), and Larry Summers look-a-like has been called upon by President Obama to help steer the Bushwhacked Court out of the Dark Ages and back on normal, 21st century course.

In Kagan, Barry's got all the fixin's: liberal, but not kumbaya kooky liberal, Jewish (so no more kvetching about Israel or Barry loving Muslims!), an actual ovary-possessing, albeit manly female (grrrrrrl power?), with the added mystery of sexual ambiguity (closeted lezzie, or run-of-the-mill homely woman?) to boot.

When it comes to the hottttt topic of Miss Kagan's fuzzy sexual orientation, it appears the jury's still out (no pun intended).

Logically, Elena Kagan is pretty much a sure-fire bet for confirmation, (sketchy closet-case or not).

Truth is, there are only so many things Kagan can possibly be, aside from a smart lady lawyer or judge of some kind.

There's always the possibility that she's a full-on lesbian, whose special lady friend is an "open secret," but who nonetheless backs equal rights for the entire GLBT community, except apparently career legal minds with, umm, shall we say, Supreme aspirations?

Which I guess would make her the first, sort-of out-of-the-closet gay Supreme Court Justice. Hooray?

Of course, the weird, awkward silence around Kagan's sexual orientation could also mean our newest Justice is bisexual, although something tells me the woman's not exactly "tearing it up" with either gender, so the assumption that she's playing for both teams seems slightly far fetched, but hey for all we know, the gal could be the Mickey Mantle of the other, all-time greatest switch-hitting list.

Stranger things have happened, no? Glenn Beck as a voice of reason on the right, Sarah Palin having an "actual" job, John McCain being a maverick, Michael Steele as a competent leader, the list goes on and on.

Then again, considering the White House's hysterical, furious response, treating the lesbian rumors swirling around their beloved nominee as if they were alleging pedophilia, necrophilia bestiality, or God-knows-whatever is worse than being a terrible queer, perhaps Elena Kagan is simply an unattractive straight woman with the misfortune of looking exactly like a post-op version of Larry Summers, after his M-to-F surgery.

But thanks to the sage wisdom of the Grand Old Party, the biggest opposition to Kagan, isn't even her questionable gayness, but rather her crazy, liberal belief that the original U.S. Constitution was "defective" because of the whole 3/5ths, blacks-as-slaves thing, as evidenced by her support of Thurgood Marshall's statement on the subject.

Ha ha, as if the first black Supreme Court Justice is qualified to speak on such matters.

Clearly, the only person allowed to speak on matters of race and racial inequality in America is off-the-hook, hip-hop RNC Chairman of Youth and Lesbian bondage clubs, Michael Steele. For reals, yo!

"Given Kagan's opposition to allowing military recruiters access to her law school’s campus, her endorsement of the liberal agenda and her support for statements suggesting that the Constitution ‘as originally drafted and conceived, was defective,’ you can expect Senate Republicans to respectfully raise serious and tough questions…"

Tough, hard-hitting questions like when is it okay for Republicans to oppose a Supreme Court nominee for umm, how shall we say this, not being overly concerned with hiring minorities and women over equally qualified white men, the very same affirmative-action ballyhoo conservatives detest and hold in typical white male contempt?

Why, when the nominee is an evil Democrat, of course!

But it takes a really big tent to simultaneously stand up for the awesome Confederacy and its proud tradition of enslaving black people, and bitch and moan about a potential Supreme Court nominee not hiring enough black people during her tenure as Dean of Harvard Law School.

Kagan, whose leadership at Harvard Law marked an unprecedented expansion of the program’s faculty, hired 32 tenured and tenure-track faculty. With one exception, all were white; only seven were women ….

To be sure, conservatives, who as a matter of principle oppose racial quotas for the purposes of hiring or admitting, will be wary of legitimizing such an attack. But with a limited body of published work to her credit–which is to say, nothing at all–the metrics by which the Senate may judge Kagan’s judicial temperament are limited.

Eh, like that's ever stopped them before. Besides, they much prefer to just make sh*t up anyway. Sooooo much easier that way!

Either way, the White House is pumped about its pantsuit-wearing, Pat-like pick, not named Hillary Clinton.

"Widely regarded as one of the nation’s leading legal minds, Solicitor General Elena Kagan has forged a path-breaking career in the law and in government service, distinguishing herself throughout by her penetrating intellect, unwavering integrity, sound judgment and prodigious work ethic."

OMG!!! "Penetrating intellect, unwavering integrity, sound judgment, and prodigious work ethic??"

Well, well no wonder Republicans can't stand the gal.

She's everything they hate, rolled into one big, butch, flannel and/or pantsuit wearing package. Minus the frilly bow, of course.

Oh, and sorry, Michael, she doesn't do leather or bondage...yet!