April Showers Bring May Flowers...And Mass Murder Sprees

There Will Be Blood

Between the country's economic crisis and election of terrorist-socialist Barack Obama as president, America seems to be a little on edge lately.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe it has to do with the weekend bloodbaths. Another day, another half-dozen gruesome murders or murder-suicides by some raging lunatic pissed off about something or another.

First, there was the Binghamton, New York massacre where a disgruntled Vietnamese immigrant sick of being a divorced, unemployed loser with limited English skills, opened fire on a class full of immigrants who managed not to flunk out, killing 14 people including himself.

Then, there was the the lovely young man in Pittsburgh who was so upset about President Obama taking away his guns and freedom that he decided to welcome the three police officers responding to his domestic disturbance call by ambushing them with an AK-47 before a four-hour standoff with cops that ended with two more shot cops and one bullet-ridden psychopath in custody. Hooray!

We round out the weekend's festivities in Washington state, where a monster masquerading as a human being murdered his five children (ages 16-7) before disposing of his own pathetic self with a gun shot to the head. That'll show the wifey and her new boy toy a thing or two.

Add these to last week's nursing home rampage in North Carolina, mass murders and family slaughters in California, Ohio, and Alabama, and the Oakland murder of four police officers in a single day, and voila! it's Springtime in America.

Nothing like the smell of fresh rose petals and still-hot bullet casings in the morning!

Ann Coulter Under Investigation For Being Too Perfect

Smile If You're Insane!

Giraffe-necked darling of the right Ann Coulter is reportedly under investigation for being her usual ray of sunshine self, this time for her not-at-all sketchy attempt to register to vote in Connecticut while already being registered to vote in New York.

Which should come as a real surprise from the original long-legged poster babe of attractive pundits who mask their insanity by having blonde hair and wearing skin-tight f**k me dresses. No offense to Sarah Palin, of course, who has also found great success using this model, albeit the less educated, brown-haired, endangered-wolf hunting version.

This isn't the first time Miss Coulter has come under scrutiny for violating election laws (she was investigated in 2006 for allegedly filing a false registration in Florida), but just like last time, we're sure our dear Ann did nothing wrong and is simply an innocent victim of yet another unsubstantiated witch hunt by the godless left.

My guess is those damn "self-obsessed 9/11 widows" had something to do with it. Or maybe the pesky Jews. Ann always said they were up to no good. And when is she ever wrong?

Slutty Or Psycho?