Showing posts with label Secede. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Secede. Show all posts

Monday, May 4, 2009

Bush To Texas: Et Tu, Longhorns?


Even Cowboys Get The Blues

Aww, Texas, not you too! George W. Bush may not give a damn what the rest of America thinks, but the fact that Texas' onetime favorite son is now about as popular as a swine flu-infected Mexican just about breaks ol' Dubya's little Lone Star heart.


Sure, the Texas
GOP provided W with the necessary experience as governor, much of the money, and more than 10 percent of the electoral votes needed to put George W. Bush in the White House and keep him there for two hell-raising, hook 'em terms. But that doesn't mean they're responsible for him now that he's become as popular as the one Jewish family in Corpus Christi.

You see, loyalty only goes so far around here. Thanks to the "toxic" environment Dubya's created for the state's GOP, Republicans don't want to touch the guy with a ten-foot stick.
"There’s no reason for anyone at this point to embrace the former president...People have their own battles to fight. Why would they want to go back and try to defend torture or anything else? Why would we go back and try to defend the guy who doubled the debt in the last eight years?”
Fair enough. Better to just secede and be done with it. But, just remember if you go, you're taking Georgey boy with you!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Texas Threatens To Secede; America Offers To Help Pack Bags



Okay, so Texas is all giddy-upped over the idea of succeeding from this godless wasteland, and the rest of America couldn't be more thrilled!

Sure, we'll miss the alarmingly high rates of illiteracy, poverty, violent crime, and fashion victims, not to mention, being the undisputed world leader in executions, but somehow we will find the will to carry on.

If there is one thing us Commies in Obamerica understand it's that sometimes the whole isn't greater than its parts. Such a strong, independent entity like Texas can't be expected to conform to silly things like the Constitution, Democracy, or the rule of law. That's for the other 49 pussy states to deal with.

In the meantime, Texas, godspeed! We wish you the best of luck. And don't worry about us, we'll just have to get our fix for Tex-Mex and douchebag politicians elsewhere.

New Mexico, Oklahoma, we're looking at you.