Guantanamo Bay: Club Med For Terrorists!

For all the bitching and moaning about Guantanamo Bay, you would think the place is some nightmarish detention center instead of the luxury spa retreat it really is.

It's soooo nice and relaxing in fact that some lucky inhabitants will do just about anything to stay. Like 31-year-old Muhammad Ahmad Abdallah Salih who loved the place so much he decided he just couldn't leave. Ever.

So, after almost eight years of unlawful detention without charges, Salih decided to become the fifth person to make Guantanamo their permanent residence and final resting place.

And how can you blame him? Where else can you live rent-free, have a 24-hour doorman, and still get all the creature comforts like being waterboarded using only ice-cold bottled water straight from the fridge?

It's the little things like these that make Gitmo so irresistible, it's almost impossible to leave.

Brazilian Stock Broker Prefers Death Over Market Reality

Don't worry, America, things have pretty much gone to hell for Brazil's stock market, too.

It's gotten so bad in fact that one distraught Brazilian trader shot himself in the chest in the middle of Sao Paulo's commodities and futures exchange pit.

Talk about a rough day at work.

Paulo Sergio Silva, 36, a trader for Brazilian banking giant Itau was so upset over Brazil's crumbling financial markets and plunging stock values that he decided to end his life right there in the crowded exchange pit, where an average of $21 billion dollars changes hands every day.

But much like the notion of the free market correcting itself, Silva's move didn't work out exactly as planned.

Silva survived his suicide attempt and is not only still broke, but now has a whole new set of problems to deal with, perhaps none bigger than the (self-inflicted) bullet that remains lodged in his chest.

And to add insult to injury, investor confidence plunged even further on the news that not only is Brazil's stock market hemorrhaging money, its most high profile traders can't even manage to kill themselves without something going wrong.

Talk about a doozie.

Mayday, Mayday!