Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Saxby "Big Daddy" Chambliss Wins Georgia Senate Race; Saves Republicans From Total Irrelevance

Guess what, folks?

Saxby "Big Daddy" Chambliss is no longer just a weird, boob-grabbing pervert, he is now also the proud winner of Georgia's runoff senate election against boring Democratic nuisance Jim Martin. And it only took him two tries!

Well, Saxby, my man, you've finally earned it. We knew that loser James "Jim" Martin didn't stand a chance once you unleashed the whole fine-lookin' Chambliss clan on the public with that brilliant and not-at-all creepy thanksgiving ad.

But just to be on the safe side and make sure the godless Democrats don't get one step closer to their holy supermajority of 60 filibuster-proof, GOP ass kickin' seats, the Republicans brought out the Big Guns for Mr. "Big Daddy" Saxby.

Republican superstar Sarah Louise Palin headlined a four-rally blitzkrieg across the state on Monday, one of the fine Alaskan wonder's many appearances for Chambliss.

The whole GOP gang reunited to campaign on Chambliss' behalf, with fan favorites Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee, and, even the old maverick himself, John S. McCain, rallying voters in Georgia to take a last-stand against the terrifying Socialist Democratic takeover of the United States.

Democrats tried their "best" to win another seat (how many does that make?) and further humiliate the already-defeated Republican party.

Sure, Barack Obama may have declined Jim "No One Cares" Martin's request to personally campaign on his behalf, but he had other things to do like run the country and pretend that anyone actually believes Bush is really the president.

Besides, it's not like Obama didn't do anything to help Mr. Jim Martin bring some Democratic flavor to the dirty South.

He did record a radio ad for Martin and even lent some celebrity street-cred with the unstoppable one-two punch of Mr. William Jefferson Clinton and...Al Gore!

That's right, Al Gore!

Anyone? Anyone?

Well, At Least Jimbo's Handling The Loss Well!

1 comment:


Our personal favorite Saxbyism is his line about how there's no need to limit the length of troop deployments or pass dwell time amendments that give troops more time at home with their families, because “During World War II and other wars of this country, service members participating in those wars deployed for 3 and 4 years with little or no break. With this in mind the current proposal by Senator Webb seems out of step with history and what it has taken to win the wars of this country. I can think of no way in which the Webb amendment will help our Nation succeed in Iraq.” Not that he would personally know, since Big Daddy used five student deferments and a fake knee injury to keep himself out of Vietnam. Love that guy.