The Esteemed Gov. Rod Blagojevich Of Illinois
Well, Blago. It was really only a matter of time until you got caught. Everyone knew you were a corrupt, slimy politician--and a terrible governor. What we didn't know was exactly how scummy you were. Now we do.
And now we can hate you not just for your douchebag hair style or your weird love of Elvis Presley, or cause your name is Rod, but because you've literally tried every trickster politician move in the book, only to finally get caught trying to auction off Obama's vacant senate seat to the highest bidder.
So, congratulations, Mr. Rod Blagojevich, you've officially joined the esteemed ranks of corrupt Chicago politicians willing to sell their soul (even their beloved Cubs!) to anyone, so long as the price is right and the getting is good.
We're so proud we can add a Democrat to the list of former Illinois governors rotting in jail due to a combination of incredible hubris and stupidity. Please do say hi to George Ryan for us, and be sure to listen to his advice.
Ryan may be a Republican, but I am sure he has some nice tips on everything from how to keep your spirits up to the best way to sneak hair gel past the prison guards.
What, you thought Blago's fluffy, is-that-a-toupee look was au natural? Ha ha silly people!
When are you gonna learn? Nothing about the man is real.