Will Someone Please Put A Muzzle On Her Already?

They Don't Call Her Barricuda For Nothin'

Sarah Palin emerged from her winter wonderland to set the record straight on a few things the gotcha! media did to ruin her perfectly lovely campaign.

And believe me hell hath no fury like Sarah scorned. This gal's got fightin' words for everyone!

On the Wicked World of Journalism:
"Bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers who lie annoy me....the Anchorage Daily News, they called again to ask — double-, triple-, quadruple-check — who is Trig's real mom." Oh, the nerve!

On Seeing Russia From Alaska:
"You Can!"

Palin on the Campaign in Hindsight:
"Tell the campaign that you'll be callin' some of the shots. Don't just assume that they know you well enough to make all your decisions for ya." Oh, you betcha!

Palin on SNL and Self-Deprecation:
"I can laugh at myself, too!"

Good, cause everyone else certainly will be.

Let It Out, Sarah!

Sen. Stevens Fall From Grace Pins Dems Hopes On Diaper Wearing Comedian Named Al

Aw, Shucks!

Alaska voters have finally given the boot to senatorial fossil Ted Stevens and instead elected the first Democrat to represent Alaska in Congress in nearly three decades.

After a grueling two-week-long process of counting nearly 90,000 absentee and early votes from across Alaska, Democratic Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich was finally able to unseat one of the giants in the U.S. Senate and claim victory by a 3,724-vote margin for basically being the only candidate who is not also a convicted felon.

Congratulations! We are so very proud.

But better yet, is that Stevens' ouster gives Democrats 58 seats in the Senate, edging them ever closer to the holy grail of 60--the number necessary for a filibuster-proof majority.

So, what fine candidates have the Democrats pinned their hopes and dreams of sweet partisan revenge after years of GOP manhandling and domination?

Georgia:
Basically, the Democrats need some blah blah white dude from Georgia named James Francis "Jim" Martin to defeat another boring southern white dude with a weird name, Republican incumbent Saxby Chambliss.

Saxby? Really? What does that even mean? I don't think that's a real word. In any case, neither are interesting enough to deserve a picture.

Minnesota:
Apparently, the unofficial motto of the state is: "Minnesota, We're Weirder Than You Think!"

Yes, the same state that gave us Jesse "The Body" Ventura for Governor now brings us another wild showdown for its senate seat.

Democrat and former SNL comedian Al Franken is creeping ever closer to unseating dirty hippie turned uptight Republican Norm Coleman whose marginal lead prompted an automatic recount to be completed by Dec. 5--if all goes well.

Normally, I wouldn't feel too comfortable resting the Democrats' hope on a man in bunny ears and diapers, but when you compare him to the rest of the colorful cast of characters in Minnesota's recent political history, I gotta say I'm feeling pretty good about the Dems chances right about now.

Former SNL Star Al Franken: The Dems Great White Hope!

Young, Freewheelin' Sen. Norm Coleman Before Seeing The GOP Light

Proud Former Gov. Jesse "The Body" Ventura In All His Pink Boa Glory

At Least She Is A Winner At Something!

It may not have been her first choice, but at least VP candidate and rising comic star Sarah Palin can claim victory in one arena. Yes, America's favorite "Caribou Barbie" sure knows how to boost ratings!

Palin's much-hyped appearance on last night's Saturday Night Live was a smashing success, earning the show its highest ratings in 14 years.

A record-setting 14 million viewers tuned in to watch what would happen when the real Sarah Palin came face-to-face with her famous SNL impersonator Tina Fey. Oooooh, cat fight!

In fact, the last time SNL enjoyed such huge numbers was in 1994 when Nancy Kerrigan hosted after having her knees bashed in by rival skater Tonya Harding's dutiful "associates."

Fortunately, last night's ladies were on their best behavior, and everyone left with their legs still in tact. But just in case the estrogen really started flowing, Sarah and Tina maintained a safe distance from each other--not making even a single appearance together. Lame.

But, at least America got to see Palin in her element, finally looking relaxed and comfortable under the harsh glare of the spotlight.

Sure, Palin may not have come across quite so fabulous during her live debates or one-on-one interviews. But those involved silly things like answering questions, formulating sentences, and understanding actual policies.

When it comes to important matters, like rapping about hot Alaskan governors who love to hunt, you better believe Sarah "shake-her-groove-thing" Palin can bust a move with the best of 'em.