Another day, another double-consonant named Republican acts like a moron and reminds us why we should never trust public officials with unnecessary additional letters in their names.
Asked about his participation in the Congressional Sportsmen Caucus during an interview with Politico, Mississippi Republican Rep. Gregg Harper replied: "We hunt liberal, tree-hugging Democrats, although it does seem like a waste of good ammunition."
HAHAHAHAHA! Now, normally this kind of dumb, redneck ignorance is so darn hilarious, it's enough to make a person squeal with delight. That's because it usually comes from some demented, toothless teabagger waving an Obama is Hitler sign, not an elected official responsible for crafting the laws of the nation.
"Folks have a common misconception that Mississippi is strictly a rural, outdoors state. While we are famous for our hunting, sport fishing and year-round golf, we also have leading manufacturers like Peavey Electronics and Viking Range Corp."
See, not everyone in the M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I is as backwards as their proud, double-G representative Gregg Harper, whose biggest challenge as a congressman is "Trying to find my way around the Rayburn building...Combining my poor sense of direction with a confusing design is not good."
But as long as he continues following the compass of his mentors Haley ("No one 'gets it' more than him") Barbour and Trent ("Living example of what loyalty means") Lott, we're confident things will work out just fine for Mr. Greggggggggg Harper.
He'll spend the next half-century or so reading his favorite Mississippi literary great John Grisham (Eudora Welty and William Faulkner are for pussies), indulging in his guilty pleasure of eating dark chocolate Hershey’s Kisses every day (the closest he ever gets to dark anything) and all the while not once pass a meaningful piece of legislation. Ever.
Looks like someone's got what it takes to be a Republican superstar!