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The God-loving, queer-hating crusaders behind the Protect Marriage Washington PAC are working 'round the clock to prevent their illustrious state from being the next to fall to the gays...and not just any gays, but crazed, marriage-obsessed gays!
If you think the decent, church-going folks who reside in America's rainy northwest are about to slap Jesus in the face by permitting Satan's rainbow army to set up shop in their home state without a fight, you my friend are sorely mistaken.
Because to pass Senate Bill 5688/Referendum 71 and let the gays enter into unholy unions is not only anathema to God's will but more importantly will mean no leaf pile in the entire state is safe from being infiltrated by some loathsome homosexual just waiting to pop out and scare the bejesus out of little Johnny.
So remember people, REJECT SB 5688/Referendum 71 or your days of carefree frolicking in the multicolored foliage of autumn's spoils (with you opposite-sex lover) are numbered. Consider yourself warned!