The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Colorful RNC Chairman Michael Steele Isn't Just A Tech Wizard, He's Also A Cow!
What better way to bounce back after a monumental embarrassment that is the new, error-plagued, semi-functional GOP.com than saying something so mind-blowingly dumb that everyone immediately forgets the disastrous mistakes of the previous day?
Welcome to the brilliant mind of RNC Chairman Michael Steele, in all his Sarah Palin/Michelle Bachmann/Glenn Beck/Joe Wilson glory.
When asked by Fox News what he thinks about the idea that the "health care reform train has left the station with President Obama at the wheel," the delightfully hilarious Michael Steele used his savvy metaphorical skills to answer this pressing conundrum.
"Well I’m the cow on the tracks," Steele replied. "You’re gonna have to stop the train to get this cow off the track to move forward."
Apparently, Mr. Steele is unschooled in the storied history of train/cow confrontations. Let's help him out a bit, shall we?
You see, when 3,000-8,000 tons of reinforced metal and steel barreling down the tracks at 100 mph crashes into 1100-1500 lbs of deliciously inert bovine flesh and bone, the laws of science typically don't favor the dumb cow stuck on the tracks.
Think of it as nature's own In-N-Out Burger.
Ha ha dumb Democrats. Don't they know the joke's on them? Unlike, a certain man of Steele, they've obviously never met Babe The Big Blue Ox.
Guess no one had the heart to inform Michael that a cow is not ox. And even if it were, Oxen typically don't come in the form of bright blue behemoths accompanying mythological lumberjacks of exceptional size and superhuman strength on their epic quest through the vast, untamed northern logging region of the mid-19th century United States.
But don't take our word for it, Michael! Feel free to try it for yourself.
Then, I guess we can finally have that "Rodney King moment" on health care Michael's been so patiently awaiting during his ongoing, personal war with his own logic and dignity.