Baruch Obama Saves The Jews!

Remember that whole to do about how Obama is really a secret Muslim terrorist who would love nothing more than to gleefully watch Israel sink into the Mediterranean, along with the rest of the pesky Jews? Well, much like Sarah Palin's knowledge of anything other than how to field dress wild game and wayward ex-boyfriends, this too was proven false.

Turns out the State Department's been running a super-secret operation to get Jews the f**k out of Yemen and into a land where they won't coincidentally be the target of every increasingly violent incident rocking the country. So, basically that leaves the United States and Israel.

Of the 350 Jews living in Yemen before the operation began (apparently they have them), about 60 have already been resettled, and about 100 more are on their way. Those remaining will most likely stay in Yemen in a "government enclave" to protect them from rising anti-Semiticism in the form of crazed al-Qaeda terrorists running around, solidifying their stronghold on the country.

But the secret evacuation of anyone, let alone an entire community of (less than beloved) Jews living for centuries in near total isolation in the Arabian Peninsula, is no easy task. There's the usual growing pains like trying to board a flight with live chickens, understanding that running water and electricity are not omens from God but inventions from man, and other minor adjustments living links with the ancient world make when joining the rest of 21st century society.

To complicate matters, the U.S. State Department risked opening themselves up to criticism for helping a bunch of Jews no one knew existed escape a country no one's really heard of, at a time when refugees around the world are clamoring for a haven of their own.

I mean it's not like the U.S. likes Jews more than any other persecuted group seeking salvation it's just that they serve dual humanitarian and geopolitical purposes. Not only would America get to rescue a group threatened because of its religion (Brownie points!!), but also hopefully prevent an international embarrassment for its embattled Arab ally.

Despite his efforts, Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh was having a difficult time protecting himself, let alone a bunch of weird stone-age Jews with curly hair. The alternative--risking broader attacks on the Jews--could well have undermined the Obama administration's efforts to rally support for President Saleh at home and abroad, and prevent Yemen from becoming the the next 'stan we feel compelled to invade.

The Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society's network has been helping arrange housing and disburse food stamps, cash and other refugee benefits to the Yemeni arrivals. However, many of the adults aren't yet capable of budgeting, following a schedule or sitting still in a structured classroom to learn English.

Well, well looks like someone's fitting into America just perfectly!