Going Rogue: An American Life Or An American Lie?

Goody gumdrops! Sarah Palin's exciting new book of lies and half-truths hits the shelves next week, but for those who can't wait 'til Tuesday to get their memoir on, fear not, excerpts are already trickling out from several news agencies and other sources who've decided to "Go Rogue" and release their advanced copies ahead of schedule. Apparently, arbitrary media "embargoes" mean nothing to these liberal media elites.

But as long as they keep the juicy tidbits about our darling Sarah flowing, can we really complain?

And since they're from the Alaskan ice queen herself, you know they have to be true!

Like what really happened in that disastrous CBS interview with Katie Couric when Sarah couldn't, for the life of her, name a single newspaper she reads--if only to get that nagging broad Katie off her back. I mean the only reason Sarah agreed to do the damn interview in the first place was because she felt sorry for Katie who suffers from terribly low self-esteem. And this is the thanks she gets? By having some dumb, self-hating floozy like Katie badger her with silly questions about what books and periodicals she reads and her opinion on the country's current economic woes. Of all the indignities!

Sarah also tells of the "jaded aura" around McCain's political advisors once she stormed onto the scene. Of course, this had nothing to do with the fact that our fair Alaskan governor didn't know much about anything, including whether or not Africa was a continent (Ya, like that's important for a vice-president), the difference between England and Great Britain (they both speak all weird and Mary Poppins-like?), or basically anything that doesn't have to do with hockey moms and pigs who wear lipstick.

Well excuuuse her for not liking that McCain's snooty senior advisors, like Steve Schmidt and Nicolle Wallace, forced her to "stick with the script" and kept encouraging her to actually prepare for interviews instead of just wingin' it freestyle with adorable winks and truncated action verbs like a real maverick.

Or how they got all angry every time she went a wee bit "off script" to lie about her own accomplishments (there weren't any) or make up crazy stuff about that awful Barry character. I mean, do you want to win or not here people?

Of course, Going Rogue has plenty more about how everything that went wrong is the fault of the dumb McCain campaign since everyone in the whole world (except these idiots apparently) knew who the real superstar was. And it certainly wasn't that old windbag whose campaign she tried to save by finally agreeing to let him be her running mate.

I guess she must've felt sorry for poor Gramps McCain, since he too seemed to be afflicted with the same low self-esteem bug as that pathetic Couric woman.

Come to think of it, that's probably the reason she decided to let Barack Obama win, with his self-esteem already on the skids, it just didn't seem right to rub it in. I mean she already stole the spotlight, did she really need to steal the presidency from him too?

People with high self-esteem don't need to do these kinds of things. They'd much rather quit being governor to write fiction novels about various public figures' self-esteem and work full-time yelling on Facebook at those zero-confidence losers and sad sacks in the media who dare excerpt her book before the official release date.

Jealousy is so unbecoming!