Thursday, November 12, 2009

Colorado State Sen. Dave Schultheis's Bark Isn't Bigger Than His Bite

Have no fear people, mind-blowing idiocy is alive and well in the state of Colorado! Thanks to the brilliance of yet another saber-toothed GOP state Senator Dave Schultheis, the latest in a long and storied tradition of Republican morons who just can't figure out how to use all this off-the-hook youth technology without acting like a total douchebag.

You see,
Colorado state Sen. Dave Schultheis has a knack for saying really stupid things that don't accomplish anything except offend our better sensibilities. He does it all the time!

So it really comes as no surprise that this Colorado paradigm of ignorance and questionable dental advice would express his "
anger at Obama's fiscal policies" by tweeting, "Don't for a second, think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is flying the U.S. Plane right into the ground at full speed. Let's Roll."

I mean who wouldn't picture a hijacked plane nosediving into the ground and the words "Let's Roll" and not automatically think of Obama's desire to pass moderate bills to create jobs, stimulate the economy, and provide basic health insurance to 30-40 million Americans? That's like so obvious!

It's not like Schultheis meant to compare the President Obama to the 9/11 hijackers or use Todd Beamer's famed rallying cry aboard doomed United Flight 93 as a way to get people to link Obama to Mohammad Atta or anything crazy like that.

"'Let's roll.' It's a comment people use all the time any more. 'Let's get going. Let's move on. Let's make major changes,'" Schultheis told the Denver Post. "I can see it now. But, you're busy doing jillions of things during the day. You sometimes don't analyze every single word."

I mean who has time to use their brain to make obvious logical conclusions when they're doing jillions (yes, literally jillions!) of things. Certainly not Dave Schultheis! And certainly not when he is doing something as important for the future of this great country than using Twitter to sound like a complete jackass in 140 characters or less.

But we totally know Schultheis didn't mean anything by his innocent tweet; he's simply isn't known for his gentle way with words and this apparent misinterpretation is just another example of what happens when your blessed with the old big mouth, small brain combo like Doug Hoffman in New York and our friend Dave here in Colorado.

Let's not forget this is the same pillar of the legislative community who railed against Spanish-language public service announcements encouraging people to fasten their seatbelts and voted against a Colorado bill requiring pregnant women to undergo HIV testing to help reduce risks for the baby by offering this explanation:

What I'm hoping is that yes, that person may have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby and when they grow up, but the mother will begin to feel guilt as a result of that. The family will see the negative consequences of that promiscuity and it may make a number of people over the coming years...begin to realize that there are negative consequences and maybe they should adjust their behavior. We can't keep people from being raped. We can't keep people from shooting each other. We can't keep people from jumping off bridges. People drink and drive, and they crash and kill people. Poor behavior has its consequences.
Unfortunately not for marginal state senators whose head simply cannot support incisors the size of small rodents and a functioning, proper-sized brain at the same time.

Hey, don't blame us. You can't argue with science!

Bicuspid Brothers: Sens. Dave Schultheis and Doug Hoffman

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