The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Friday, November 20, 2009
On The Sixth Day HE Created Sarah...And On The Seventh, She Went Rogue
Like a beautiful snowflake, Sarah Palin has drifted into our lives, a glistening hexagonal prism of symmetry and ice sent from the Lord to fill our world with wonder and wisdom.
Like Sarah, each precious star-shaped ice and crystal blend, having formed in the high clouds of the atmosphere before floating down as the frozen water molecule miracles of God we see today, is unique unto itself.
Also much like Sarah, these seemingly simple but always beautiful structures are created, quite literally, out of thin air.
Which totally explains things!
Like how this delightful Alaskan ice princess could be one missed beta-blocker away from being the leader of the free world and still not know the difference between those two pesky "I" countries in the Muslim East.
When asked by dear friend and Fox News host Sean Hannity what can be done to prevent Iran from getting nuclear weapons, Palin naturally responded by suggesting we get tough with Iraq.
"We have allies who are as concerned about Ahmadinejad's actions as we are. We need to be working closer with France, and with Britain, and start, not just considering, but seriously taking steps towards the sanctions that we hear all about but we never see any actions towards, though."
"Cutting off the imports into Iraq, of their refined petroleum products. They're reliant--40 to 45 percent of their energy supply is reliant on those imports. We have some control over there."
"And some of the beneficial international monetary deals that Iraq benefits from--we can start implementing some sanctions there and start really shaking things up, and telling Ahmadinejad, nobody is going to stand for this."
You go girl! Except for that one tiny little fact that in everyone else's reality, Iraq is different from Iran, and as it turns out, also not the country Ahmadinejad is president of. Oops, beginners' mistake!
Don't worry shimmer flake! We still love you.
If it wasn't for the radiant brilliance of your sweet crystalline self, how would we ever know such shining pearls of wisdom like this Going Rogue gem:
"If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?"
Exactly! I mean why else would God invent tasty sentient beings unless He wanted us to pump 10 rounds of high grade Remington bullets into them and toss 'em on the barbie??