Friday, December 11, 2009

Jenny Sanford Spreads the Holiday Cheer With Some Nice, Old Fashioned Divorce Papers


Did Babs Walters' 10 most fascinating people special push Jenny Sanford over the edge by reminding her of that dumb, still-husband of hers Mark Sanford, whose compass famously navigated him from the innocent trails of the Appalachians to the smooth, welcoming arms of his Latina lover 3,000 miles away in Buenos Aires?

Could be. What we do know however, is that either way, the intelligent, likable half of the Sanford clan, Jenny Sanford has filed for divorce from her famed nature-loving adventurist poet governor hubby Mark despite his tear-filled pleas about how getting caught secretly banging South American mistresses is really just an innocent test from God.

As will the next remarkably curvy, perfectly well-endowed test from Above and the one after that and the one after that, and so on and so forth until he has firmly proved his faith to God by gratuitously cheating on his long-suffering wife Jenny and shirking his responsibilities to the good people of South Carolina.

As so many of us know, the dissolution of any marriage is a sad and painful process. It is also a very personal and private one. Because Mark and I are public figures, we have naturally had less privacy with which to deal with our difficulties than do other couples. Indeed, I know it will soon become known so I choose to release this brief notice that I am now filing for divorce. This came after many unsuccessful efforts at reconciliation, yet I am still dedicated to keeping the process that lies ahead peaceful for our family.

I remain thankful to so many across this state and nation for their words of encouragement and prayers during this difficult time. Please know the boys and I are doing well and are blessed with the incredible support of friends and family and bolstered by our faith and the unfailing love of our God above.

Now, may He strike down upon thee (cheating husband) with great vengeance and furious anger so you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. Amen.

Oh, and Merry Christmas or shall we say, Feliz Navidad.

Don't you just love this time of year?

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