The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Megan McCain Stumped By Clogged Drain; Where's That "Dumbass" Plumber Joe Now?
While the Senate dithers on about health care and Joe Lieberman does his best to make the entire Democratic caucus go into immediate cardiac arrest, the real action was unfolding in Meghan McCain's luxurious, handcrafted marble and porcelain tub. Or more precisely, deep in her fine, sterling silver drain.
Somehow, strands of Meggy's flowing blond locks must have gone maverick and come loose from their snug home atop her head, only to find themselves stuck--cold, tangled and alone--inside a watery grave--with little chance of rescue!
Meghan McCain may be THE VOICEof an entire generation of Republican trust fund babies, but that doesn't mean she has mastered the baffling science of pouring liquid gunk down the drain, waiting 10-15 minutes, running some water, and witnessing the miracle of Jesus disguised as a bottle of liquid plumber save her from suffering through a long, dreadful night with nary a bubble bath to comfort her.
And you my little Meggy should stick to blogging. That way, the only thing you risk clogging is the brain of the next hapless sack who stumbles upon one of your brilliant Daily Beast columns about the beauty of war and of course, the God-given blessing of having large, supple breasts.
And don't think for a second we all haven't noticed your mastery of the power button. You go girl!