South Carolina Lt. Gov. André Bauer Doesn't Think We Should Feed Animals Like Poor School Children

André Bauer, the allegedly heterosexual lieutenant governor of South Carolina (the other governor was too busy having the good kind of extramarital sex--hetero, that is--to run the state) doesn't believe in a few things, namely being honest about his total gayness and also giving handouts to every poor, pathetic pov who crosses his holier-than-thou path.

Lt. Gov. André Bauer, who is running for the Republican nomination for governor, made his remarks during a town hall meeting in Fountain Inn that included state lawmakers and about 115 residents.

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better," Bauer said.

Bauer later told The Greenville News he wasn't saying people on government assistance "were animals or anything else."

Far from it! Just because these vile, mindless vermin without the ability to pay for themselves are a pox on society doesn't mean we should cast them off to die cold and alone in some abandoned warehouse on the side of the road. Not at all!

After all, he is a compassionate man who simply doesn't believe in free lunch. Literally! Or reduced-price lunch for that matter. As granny used to say, before Obama slaughtered her, if ya can't pay full price, get yer ass out the kitchen!

I mean let's get real here people! In South Carolina, 58 percent of students (aka rodents, vermin, and feral cats) depend on the free and reduced-price lunch program, which may seem like a good idea, but is really just another fancy-shmancy liberal name for a mouse trap.

Trust André, he knows.

"You go to a school where there's an active participation of parents, and guess what? They have the highest test scores. So what do you do? You say, 'Look folks, if you receive goods or services from the government and you don't attend a parent-teacher conference, bam, you lose your benefits.'"

You see, parent-teacher conferences are like kill shelters where mangy street walkers go to be put out of their misery and relieve the rest of us from the burden of having to look at such societal disgraces. Which is exactly why these parents must be forced to attend such things!

Accountability, responsibility, and all that other good stuff leaders talk about, usually before getting caught using state money to fund their wild sex romps through the Appalachian Trail to extramarital sex and messy divorce proceedings.

Bauer is just trying to help make the world a better place for our children and our children's children and their children and everyone's children who aren't dumb and poor like all those ratty kids living in his home state.

"So how do you fix it? Well you say, 'Look, if you receive goods or services from the government, then you owe something back'...We don't make you take a drug test. We ought to. We don't even make you show up to your child's parent-teacher conference meeting or to the PTA meeting."

"We're going to have to do things like that. We can't afford to keep just giving money away to people who don't have to do a thing."

You go André! Spread the word about how contrary to popular opinion, welfare isn't all the glamorous, high rollin', pimpin' lifestyle of the rich and famous that most people think.

That way, maybe they'll finally get their asses off the hamster wheel known as welfare and join the great rat race known as life by picking themselves up by their own two hind legs for a change.

Then, only after they earn it themselves, can you in good faith throw crumbles of moldy cheese at their terrified, malnourished feet.