Well, you'll no doubt be happy to know that Rush's evil and saturated-fat clogged heart lived to beat another day and brighten our lives with the joy and optimism that comes with listening 24/7 to a disgruntled misanthrope who hates his life and never got laid in high school.
But surely not as happy as the good folks at Second City, who know a "healthy" Rush can only mean one thing: the show must go on!
Fresh off their smash hit about Illinois' deranged lego-haired ex-crime boss governor, Rod Blagojevich Superstar!, Chicago's Second City will be delighting audiences with their original production of Rush Limbaugh! The Musical opening Jan. 31.
But that all depended on the exhausted, cholesterol laden heart of El Rushbo. If something had happened to Limbaugh, "I don't think we could've done it," Second City President Kelly Leonard said. The show "requires a very healthy Rush. I want him eating well."
Don't worry, Kelly, that's one request, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to oblige.
Featuring appearances by good friends, though not of the narcotic variety, like fellow conservative cranks Ann Coulter, Karl Rove, and Donald Rumsfeld, Rush Limbaugh! The Musical is a thrilling ride from Rush's humble beginnings as a pimple-faced college dropout named Rusty Sharpe all the way to his meteoric rise as the lovably obese God of wingnuts, whackjobs, and white supremacists we know and love today.
Coupled with a musical score called "Dispirit of the Radio," featuring a compilation of hit Broadway shows like Spring Awakening, Wicked, and Rent, the production of the talk show host's formative years (ha ha, literally) is a "grossly exaggerated tale."
Much like its grossly overweight, intellectually exaggerated star!