Thursday, August 19, 2010

Sarah Palin Continues To Prove Her Love For America By Showing Her Hatred Of Muslims

Sarah Louise Palin continues to defy reason, logic, our wildest imaginations, and even the basic laws of science on her national quest to make America a dumber, more hateful, intolerant place like her favoritest Russia or Alaska or whatever, by destroying it from the inside out.

Although, to be perfectly honest, one would probably gain more insight into pressing national issues and how our federal government should operate by miking up a wooden table or slice of cheese pizza and asking it questions instead.

Surely, you'd get more than nonsensical, rambling, incoherent, one-word answers that would perhaps be impressive coming from your three-year-old, rather than a full-grown (physically, at least) 46-year-old get-rich-quick-scheme swooping in from the snowy North.

But, lo and behold, the political juggernaut (slice of cheese pizza) known as Mama Grizzly cannot be stopped by prayers, wishes or even clicking your heels three times fast, alone.

Because much like Hurricane Katrina, the 2004 Asian Tsunami, 2010's Haitian Earthquake, or any other natural disaster of epic proportions, this furious Arctic gale wind is a force to be reckoned with. And the best you can do in the event of one of these natural catastrophes is get out of the way, duck & cover, brace yourself for impact, and hope for a miracle.
Sarah Palin Monday night chided President Barack Obama for his support of the right to build the proposed mosque two blocks from Ground Zero in New York, saying, “He just doesn’t get it."
OMG, he like totes doesn't get it! And contrary to what those arugula-eating elitists with their fancy college degrees from accredited institutions may try and tell you, SarBear knows, "Just doesn't get it" ≠ "My argument makes no sense." In fact, "just doesn't get it" is the go-to argument renowned religious studies & political science scholars like Sarah Palin prefer when "refudiating" dummy 'freedom of religion' hogwash by librul presidents who are also secret Muslim Terrorist Socialists.
“It sounds cliched to say that the president is disconnected from the American people on this issue, but how else do you describe it,” the former half-term Alaska GOP governor said on Fox News.
You are soooooooo right, Sar! There is simply no other way to describe the leader of the United States upholding his presidential oath, and defending the very principles this country was founded upon, than by using hackneyed catch phrases that don't really even mean anything to describe his imagined disconnect from ignorant snow drifter blabbermouths who hate everyone and everything that is not pure snow white and Christian.

You want to know who is not totally disconnected from the American people, though? Sarah Palin, that's who! Sure, she lives in the frozen middle of nowhere, thousands of rugged miles from where the vast majority of the other 310 million or so residents of this country live, but that doesn't mean she can't speak on behalf of all Americans, everywhere!

If God didn't intend for Sarah to be THE voice of America, why would He bless her with a hearty voicebox, and make talkin' senseless drivel her #1 bestest skill in the whole, wide world?
“He just doesn’t get it, that this is an insensitive move on the part of those Muslims who want to build that mosque in this location.”
Sarah Palin sure gets it alright! And she is certainly sensitive to the fact that the true greatness of America lies in the monochromatic beauty of its all-white citizenry who worship the same, respectable, monotheistic white Christian deity (like Jesus!), and would never ever commit any transgressions in the name of their God or religious beliefs, because theirs is the most perfect religion ever to grace the face of the Earth, and can do no wrong. Ever!

Those meany-I-don't-care-who-gets-hurt Muslims don't understand these Christian things like decency, compassion, and tolerance of those not exactly the same as you (hmmm, ignorant and white?). Why else would "those Muslims" demand the same constitutional protections afforded to the rest of the population, and the freedom to practice their religion just like everyone else in this country, if they weren't so selfishly insensitive to what uneducated bigots like Sarah want?
“If the purpose of this mosque, as we are lead to believe, is to create this tolerant environment, to avoid anything like a 9/11 ever repeating, you have to ask why didn’t one of those 100 [existing] mosques already accomplish such a thing,” Palin asked. “So I don't buy into that reason, that that's the purpose of this location being chosen."
Hear that, real America?? Sarah does not "buy" this whole hippie-dippie, we-come-in-peace, Muslimy veil of lies and terror!

No matter how many Muslims are decent, hard-working Americans like you and me, who just want to practice their religion peacefully, there are some among us, like Miss Alaskan wonder over here, who refuse to tolerate them, because well, they're still a bunch of jihadist heathens who'd like nothing more than the chance to fly another hijacked plane into some other crowded, landmark building in the middle of the world's most bustling metropolis, and fill the streets with blood and debris. Allah-willing, not on their block, but the other way, toward that other sacred block with the strip clubs, nudie bars, and peep shows.

Perhaps with some actual education, Sarah Palin could understand that “those Muslims” are Americans, too, not some evil anchor babies (all growd up) dropped off by the evil, al-Qaeda stork to hatch their nefarious terrorist plots across America, once they hatch from their terrorist protective shells in the basements of NYC mosques that used to be Burlington Coat Factories.

Then maybe she would also understand that the mosques already there get pretty crowded, and since real cities have lots of different people living in them, who are not just white and Christian, this might also be a good reason to put another one in this location. Besides, 101 is such a lovely number, just think of what it did for those Dalmatians!

Everyone loves dogs, even if they hate Muslims, right?

Besides, maybe this mosque will be the magic one that stamps out extremism, just like all those magic Jesus temples cropping up all over the country to combat pedophilia and the rest of the child sex abuse scandals once plaguing the Catholic church.

So, whaddya say Sarah?
“It feels like a stab in the heart to, collectively, Americans who still have that lingering pain from 9/11.”
Nothing compared to the tiny ol' pin prick it feels like for people who also love America, but simply want to be a part of their own community and practice their own mainstream religious beliefs like everyone else, without being called the evil murderers of people who used to work in said community by dumb airheads blown in along the cold currents of the Arctic circle.

Good thing Sarah's heart is so ice-cold solid, no machete in the world can penetrate its frozen outer shell. I mean, not even normal temperatures can thaw the darn icicle.

Which is good news for the rest of us, because who knows where this country would be if we all started taking advice on how best to restrict religion in the United States from an old slice of AMERICAN cheese pizza left in the freezer too long, otherwise known as Sarah Palin.

We'd surely be in some very deep shit dish, and likely smothered with goat cheese or something gross and Muslimy like that.

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