Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Holy Twit! Twitter Refuses To Verify Scott Walker's Account; But Was Able To Verify His Asshole Status

Famous people like Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen, Rahm "9½ Fingers" Emanuel, and Sarah "Lou" Palin have "verified" Twitter accounts, meaning their ghostwritten 140-character thoughts, ruminations, and random profanity-laced outbursts are honored with a little green check mark next to their name, proving that they are indeed the awesome celebrities they claim to be (or, at least, the publicity people or personal assistants actually responsible for Twatting the nonsense), and not just some middle-aged shmuck in his parent's basement banging away at the keyboard instead of an actual woman.

Then, there's union-gobbling Wisconsin Kochsucker Scott Walker, who, along with his dedicated staff, took a break from waging an unseemly Republican-fueled war on teachers, police officers, firefighters, and every other miserable middle-class sadsack without a trust fund in his or her name, to kindly request that Scott Walker’s stupid Twitter account be verified as the official celebrity account of Wisconsin's wretched new baseball bat-wielding, blue collar busting governor (of rich people), Scott Walker.

Turns out, much like the rest of the Badger State, the people over at Twitter apparently can't stand the bastard either, and basically told Walker to f-off without even needing all 140 characters to do it!
"We've tried to get the Governor's account verified through Twitter," said a spokesperson for Walker's office yesterday afternoon. The office sent a request to Twitter via fax on official letterhead last week to prove legitimacy of the @GovWalker account, the spokesperson told ClickZ News.
"With all the attention surrounding the Governor…it was kind of important for us to get his account verified. There are a lot of impersonations."
Yet, despite Walker's emergence on the national political stage in the midst of his fight with Wisconsin Senate Democrats and public unions, Twitter turned down the Governor's request.
"They sent us back a canned response" via fax stating the company is not currently verifying "for members of the public," said the spokesperson.
Excuuuuuse me?? Not verifying for members of the public?? How rude!! Sir Scott Walker isn't just some scumsucking, 9-5 schlubby "member of the public" who devotes his miserable life to trivial, unimportant things like teaching our public school children to read, write, and not get embarrassingly duped into saying dumb, terrible things by liberal bloggers posing as one half of the über rich, über evil rightwing duo affectionately known as the Koch Daddies Koch Brothers.

As if!

He just so happens to be the driving force behind Wisconsin's insane, one-man, full frontal assault on any semblance of fair pay or a decent life for the poor sops who make a living teaching your bratty kids how to make proper change for a dollar, not make a killing dumping toxic waste into our precious rivers and lakes.

He's Scott Walker, God damn it!

But c'mon, you understand don't you, Scott? Verify one random jerk and before you know it, you have to verify every random jerk with a Koch/Coke problem, be it the old-fashioned Charlie Sheen kind, or the equally intoxicating, just as pricey, pure, white Republican overlord kind.

But, don't worry, Scott, verified account or not, one thing's for sure: you're still a giant Twat!

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