The War Of Art: Wisconsin Hell Governor Scott Walker Removes Wall Mural Because Underprivileged Children Happily Blowing Bubbles Makes Him Feel All Gross & Poor Inside

"Wishes In The Wind"

While the rest of the nation is abuzz over important things like mysterious underwear-covered crotch shots of a public official with the dual misfortune of having a last name synonymous with a penis, and an unhealthy obsession with his own penis, America's lovely crop of new Republican governors have settled in nicely, mostly managing to keep their Weiners and Willies in their pants as they wage war on both poor people in the streets and poor people hanging on their office and/or mansion walls.

Much like his ol' buddy in Maine Gov. Paul LePage, who simply could not stand the sight of some Socialist beggar mural of working class minorities sullying his Labor Department and ordered its prompt removal (soon to be followed by the forced removal of all poor minorities, God-willing!), squinty-eyed, Kochsucking Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has also removed a specially commissioned painting of three disadvantaged Wisconsin kids from the mantlepiece of the governor’s mansion because the smiling faces of poor children skipping down a snowy street makes him understandably uncomfortable.

Instead, "Wishes in the Wind," which was part of a series of paintings with “subjects intended to remind state leaders of the people they represent," has been replaced by "a century-old painting of Old Abe, a Civil War-era bald eagle from Wisconsin" to honor the 150th anniversary of the Civil War.

Apparently, Scott Walker likes to be reminded of eagles, the voters who elected him. YAY! FREEDOM WINS!

From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

In an interview, artist David Lenz said he carefully selected the three children portrayed in “Wishes in the Wind.” The African-American girl, featured in a Journal Sentinel column on homelessness, spent three months at the Milwaukee Rescue Mission with her mother. The Hispanic girl is a member of the Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater Milwaukee. And the boy’s father and brother were killed by a drunken driver in 2009.
“The homeless, central city children and victims of drunk drivers normally do not have a voice in politics,” Lenz explained in an email. “This painting was an opportunity for future governors to look these three children in the eye, and I hope, contemplate how their public policies might affect them and other children like them.”
He added: “I guess that was a conversation Governor Walker did not want to have.”

That's because, unlike bald eagles from the 19th century, poor, suffering children do not really exist in modern-day Wisconsin.

Ooops, looks like another Dick's been exposed. Except unlike a certain fuzzy Wiener Twitter pic, this cock shot's crystal clear!

Holy Twit! Twitter Refuses To Verify Scott Walker's Account; But Was Able To Verify His Asshole Status

Famous people like Charlie "Tiger Blood" Sheen, Rahm "9½ Fingers" Emanuel, and Sarah "Lou" Palin have "verified" Twitter accounts, meaning their ghostwritten 140-character thoughts, ruminations, and random profanity-laced outbursts are honored with a little green check mark next to their name, proving that they are indeed the awesome celebrities they claim to be (or, at least, the publicity people or personal assistants actually responsible for Twatting the nonsense), and not just some middle-aged shmuck in his parent's basement banging away at the keyboard instead of an actual woman.

Then, there's union-gobbling Wisconsin Kochsucker Scott Walker, who, along with his dedicated staff, took a break from waging an unseemly Republican-fueled war on teachers, police officers, firefighters, and every other miserable middle-class sadsack without a trust fund in his or her name, to kindly request that Scott Walker’s stupid Twitter account be verified as the official celebrity account of Wisconsin's wretched new baseball bat-wielding, blue collar busting governor (of rich people), Scott Walker.

Turns out, much like the rest of the Badger State, the people over at Twitter apparently can't stand the bastard either, and basically told Walker to f-off without even needing all 140 characters to do it!

"We've tried to get the Governor's account verified through Twitter," said a spokesperson for Walker's office yesterday afternoon. The office sent a request to Twitter via fax on official letterhead last week to prove legitimacy of the @GovWalker account, the spokesperson told ClickZ News.
"With all the attention surrounding the Governor…it was kind of important for us to get his account verified. There are a lot of impersonations."
Yet, despite Walker's emergence on the national political stage in the midst of his fight with Wisconsin Senate Democrats and public unions, Twitter turned down the Governor's request.
"They sent us back a canned response" via fax stating the company is not currently verifying "for members of the public," said the spokesperson.

Excuuuuuse me?? Not verifying for members of the public?? How rude!! Sir Scott Walker isn't just some scumsucking, 9-5 schlubby "member of the public" who devotes his miserable life to trivial, unimportant things like teaching our public school children to read, write, and not get embarrassingly duped into saying dumb, terrible things by liberal bloggers posing as one half of the über rich, über evil rightwing duo affectionately known as the Koch Daddies Koch Brothers.

As if!

He just so happens to be the driving force behind Wisconsin's insane, one-man, full frontal assault on any semblance of fair pay or a decent life for the poor sops who make a living teaching your bratty kids how to make proper change for a dollar, not make a killing dumping toxic waste into our precious rivers and lakes.

He's Scott Walker, God damn it!

But c'mon, you understand don't you, Scott? Verify one random jerk and before you know it, you have to verify every random jerk with a Koch/Coke problem, be it the old-fashioned Charlie Sheen kind, or the equally intoxicating, just as pricey, pure, white Republican overlord kind.

But, don't worry, Scott, verified account or not, one thing's for sure: you're still a giant Twat!

Money Talks! Fake David Koch Prank Caller Discusses How Best To Crush Unions With Real Gov. Scott Walker. Their Answer: Baseball Bats!

Heartless, union-whacking Monster of the Midwest, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, is up to his neck in angry mobs of no-good, money sucking labor unions protestin' his brave new plan to restore fiscal sanity to Wisconsin by rolling back collective bargaining rights and reducing already meager salaries of police, firefighters, teachers and other freeloadin' public employees wastin' taxpayer money trying to teach li'l Johnny Algebra.

How rude! Amiright?

I mean, the nerve of those greedy union goons thinking billionaires, multimillionaires and high-flying corporate executives should actually pay silly, poor people things like income taxes, while they live large with their $50k a year, basic health insurance, and soon-to-be-revoked ability to collectively negotiate their salaries so they don't get screwed out of house 'n home by their new governor/corporate overlord.

But don't think for one minute this means Mr. Scott Walker, THE Gov. Scott Walker, is too busy dealing with disgruntled First Amendment-flexing citizens peacefully marching across Madison to talk to right-wing industrialist and secret Republican Czar David Koch for 20 minutes on the taxpayer-funded phone in his taxpayer-funded office.

Unfortunately for Walker, the “David Koch” he talked to for 20 minutes was actually just a liberal blogger named Ian Murphy putting on a funny rich-guy voice, and pretending to be an asshole with no morals who hates the middle class.

So is Scott Walker finally going to budge and let the workers of Wisconsin have their rights? No, no, don't be an idiot. He's going to brag about awesome ideas like pinning felonies on senators, or better yet, firing the darn rabble rousers who fled the state, sending "at risk" notices to state workers, and of course, taking a baseball bat to the heads of poor protesters, which is a wonderful way to, in fake David Koch's words, "crush that union."

Walker: Hi; this is Scott Walker.
Koch: Scott! David Koch. How are you?
Walker: Hey, David! I’m good. And yourself?
Koch: I’m very well. I’m a little disheartened by the situation there...Now you’re not talking to any of these Democrat bastards, are you?
Walker: Ah, I—there’s one guy that’s actually voted with me on a bunch of things I called on Saturday for about 45 minutes, mainly to tell him that while I appreciate his friendship and he’s worked with us on other things, to tell him I wasn’t going to budge.
Koch: Goddamn right!
Walker: …his name is Tim Cullen—
Koch: All right, I’ll have to give that man a call.
Walker: Well, actually, in his case I wouldn’t call him and I’ll tell you why: he’s pretty reasonable but he’s not one of us…
Koch: Now who can we get to budge on this collective bargaining?
Walker: …I’ve got layoff notices ready…
Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. Gotta crush that union.
Walker: [bragging about how he doesn't budge]…
Koch: Bring a baseball bat. That’s what I’d do.
Walker: I have one in my office; you’d be happy with that. I have a slugger with my name on it.
Koch: Beautiful.
Walker: [more union-bashing...]
Koch: Beautiful.
Walker: So this is ground zero, there’s no doubt about it.
Koch: Goddamn right! We, uh, we sent, uh, Andrew Breitbart down there.
Walker:Yeah.
Koch: Yeah.
Walker: Good stuff.
Koch: He’s our man, you know.
Koch: Now what else could we do for you down there? We’ll back you any way we can. What we were thinking about the crowd was, uh, was planting some troublemakers.
Walker: You know, well, the only problem with that —because we thought about that. The problem—the, my only gut reaction to that is right now the lawmakers I’ve talked to have just completely had it with them, the public is not really fond of this…[explains that planting troublemakers may not work.] My only fear would be if there’s a ruckus caused is that maybe the governor has to settle to solve all these problems…[something about '60s liberals.]…Let ‘em protest all they want…Sooner or later the media stops finding it interesting.
Koch: Well, not the liberal bastards on MSNBC.

Whoa, whoa, with all due respect, Mr. Koch, Scott happens to dig Morning Joe‘s Mika Brzezinski’s one good asset.

Walker: Oh yeah, but who watches that? I went on “Morning Joe” this morning. I like it because I just like being combative with those guys, but, uh. You know they’re off the deep end.
Koch: Joe—Joe’s a good guy. He’s one of us.
Walker: Yeah, he’s all right. He was fair to me…[bashes NY Senator Chuck Schumer, who was also on the program.]
Koch: Beautiful; beautiful. You gotta love that Mika Brzezinski; she’s a real piece of ass.
Walker: Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

But that's not all! Once Scott Walker's done acting like the Kool-Aid Man's hell version, if his gigantic pitcher were filled with hydrochloric acid instead of refreshing, frosty signature sugary red juice, he's got plenty of fun activities planned far, far, away from the frozen wasteland of shrieking poor people wearing cheddar wheels on their heads.

Koch: [Laughs] Well, I tell you what, Scott: once you crush these bastards I’ll fly you out to Cali and really show you a good time.
Walker: All right, that would be outstanding.

So true! We hear there are some good faux S&M lesbian strippers over there. Ya know, the kind Republican officials like.

That way, they can first hit up the nudie clubs and enjoy a nice strip tease from Cinnamon and Fantasia, before stripping away all their rights, benefits, and privileges, including their precious single dollar bills.

How else is Scott supposed to tip the hardworking unionized men and women carrying his designer Louis Vuitton luggage from the limo to the airport, huh?

With his own hard-earned money?

Sure, when hell freezes over.

Which, come to think of it, sounds exactly like Wisconsin these days!

Runaway Wisconsin Dems On The Lam In Illinois To Escape Crazy Gov. Scott Walker's Big, Bad, Bust-Up Unions Bill

Screw the Middle East, bro, have you seen the crazy shit that's goin' down in the Middle West?

All 14 of Wisconsin's Democratic Senators have fled the state (9-month long winters and this is what it took?) to prevent union-busting, budget-crazed Republicans from voting stripping public employees of their longstanding collective bargaining rights, and basically transforming Wisconsin's once-powerful, once-strong worker's unions into nothing more than soft, porous, weak ol' Swiss cheese, instead of full, dense, rich flavorful cheddar, that tastes great and looks amazing when worn atop the head at sporting events.

But now that Republican Governor Scott Walker's very kind, very gentle, very reasonable plea for state Democrats to please return to work so they can effectively gut their precious unions to smithereens went ignored, they are also now hiding from Wisconsin state police, who've been called in to "round up" these rogue Democrats, and force them into the congressional chamber.

But in order to corral these wayward Dems and ship 'em back to America's Dairyland, you gotta find 'em first!

In protest of the budget repair bill that will strip public union workers of almost all of their collective bargaining rights, Senate Democrats have walked away from a floor session.
Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald said Dems are refusing to come to the floor to debate and vote on the bill.
Fitzgerald said at some point, if needed, Republicans will use the State Patrol to round up Democrats to bring them to the floor.

But where o where in God's Great Snow-Covered Plains would a busload of fugitive Senators go when evading the long arm of Wisco's new Teabagging Gov. Scott Walker's over-caffeinated, Lipton-loving arm? Why, a generic motel in Illinois, of course!

Wisconsin state Democrats who refused to show up for a vote on Governor Walker’s budget repair bill have been located.
The lawmakers are in Rockford, Illinois at the Best Western Clock Tower Resort and Conference Center.

Ooooh, did you say, "resort?"

Okay, okay, but before Republicans and other human bags o' herb 'n spice see the word resort and spontaneously combust with white-hot rage, let's remember that it's a freaking Best Western! Sure, the place does have an indoor "water park", but nonetheless, the word "resort" may be a tad generous when describing this fine Northern Illinois establishment.

So while Wisconsin Dems enjoyed getting drunk and hitting the lazy river in 65,000 square feet of indoor water park fun and games at CoCo Key Water Resort and Key Quest Arcade, thousands of protesters, from state employees and their unions, to college and high school students, to members of the Green Bay Packers and other sympathetic-to-the-rights-and-dignity-of-workers-type suckers took to the Capitol to stomp their hippie feet and shout meany stuff at the awful governor they just elected. Umm, only about 4 months too late Badgers!

Nearly 800 Madison East High School students walked out of school Tuesday morning to join a demonstration against Gov. Scott Walker's budget repair bill at the Capitol.
As teachers beamed and offered thanks, student organizers in the hallways handed out signs identifying each as a "future worker, future voter," proclaiming this was a "Walk out for Walker out," and calling on the Legislature to "kill this bill."

Hate to rain on your protest parade, cheeseheads, but usually it's best to take care of these things, as in know where your esteemed public officials stand, like if they're really union-hating whackjobs, before electing them to power. Just a suggestion.

But then again, it's their call. If the good people of Wisconsin prefer their lawmakers be forced to live like traveling salesman or fugitive senators, floating around on innertubes in some indoor “lazy river” thing off a highway rest stop in Illinois, then so be it.

In the meantime, Democratic Minority Leader Mark Miller released a statement on behalf of all Democrats urging Gov. Scott Walker and Republicans, who hold a 19-14 majority in the legislature, to listen to opponents of the measure and seek a compromise. Naturally, his statement did not address where Democrats were or when they planned to return.

"We are all willing to come to the table, we've have all been willing from day one," said Madison teacher Rita Miller. "But you can't take A, B, C, D and everything we've worked for in one fell swoop."

Haha, wanna bet?

Because when voters elected wingnut conservative Gov. Scott Walker, along with his 68-page special needs job plan, and GOP majorities in both legislative chambers, they pretty much were begging for a showdown.

And aside from hitting the road, Democrats have been powerless to stop the bill, marking a dramatic shift for Wisconsin, the birthplace of union representation for public employees.

"The story around the world is the rush to democracy," said Democratic Sen. Bob Jauch of Poplar. "The story in Wisconsin is the end of the democratic process."

But on the bright side, at least it is not the end of the cheese processing process!

Though, next time you want to hide from the Wisconsin GOP, and maybe don't feel like taking a mandatory congressional field trip across state lines, a good idea would probably be to just go somewhere Republicans would never, ever, in a million years be caught dead at.

Like say a library or museum.

You Know What They Say About GOP Candidates Who Use Big Fonts To Fake A Jobs Plan...

Let's say you're a Republican candidate somewhere in America, like say, maybe Wisconsin, for instance, and  unemployment is rampant because the actual 'middle class' heart of our economy has died, forever, plus you stand for "small government" or whatever, so you can't actually propose anything, but you still need to talk about jobs because in America's heartland, jobs come first! Right after the Packers and cheeseheads, of course!

So what do you do, Wisconsin GOP gubernatorial candidate Scott Walker? What do you about that?

Why, you create "SCOTT WALKER’S 68-PAGE JOBS PLAN!" in all caps, with an exclamation point for emphasis!

And that's not it, my friends! Since you need to not only match, but beat your Democratic opponents' 67-page normal-sized font jobs plan, you obviously decide to release a, wait for it, 68-page plan, with the font size set to Mike Huckabee's old waist line, which is like infinity times better!

Nevermind fuddy-duddy Democratic things like actual details or ideas. Who needs those when you have "three pages of talking points stretched across 68 pages," with the letters blown up to a ridiculous size 10-million font?? Certainly not Scott Walker!

Let's take a look-see at some of Mr. Walker's brilliant plan to create jobs by producing a document seemingly designed for the elderly, legally blind, or retarded people:

Naturally, priority number one is to abolish all taxes, which can easily be done by the a single, incomplete, phrase stretched across an entire page, "We must lower the heavy tax burden that prevents businesses from investing in..."  Duh! This much is obvious!

Scott Walker apparently also wants to nuke Wisconsin. Which can be a great way to create jobs, such as funeral directors, roadside cleanup crews for body removal and other scattered debris, firefighters to put out the soon-to-be raging, nuclear-fueled conflagrations, and even scientists and researchers to help develop new treatments for chemical burns and/or various work-related complications, like birth defects, physical disfigurement, and increased numbers of depression, anxiety, and other ailments associated with severe mental stress. Hooray!

Oh yeah, and thanks to his 68 page-PDF-equivalent of having an insane, old person scream in your ear for an hour, "SCOTT WALKER!" is also waaaaaay ahead in the polls, so umm, go Wisconsin!?