Perhaps This Is The Incentive The Dems Needed To Pass Health Care?

Robust, picturesque vision of health and tolerance, Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, may have dropped out of college after two semesters and one summer, but this high school graduate doesn't need fancy degrees to know that "human beings will die earlier than normal" under President Obama's "freedom killing, life threatening" health care reform plan, which, much like the fat man himself, should be immediately "aborted."

Which is why Limbaugh, the Albert Einstein of wingnut radio, is taking his own dire warnings to heart (his large, overworked heart), telling a caller that if Obama's evil health care plan passes, and all his worst fears are realized (besides a black man in the White House), he will leave the country. Can we get that in writing??

CALLER: If the health care bill passes, where would you go for health care yourself?

LIMBAUGH: I’ll just tell you this, if this passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica.

But before you get too excited at the prospect of America's worst human fleeing the country over its terrible slide towards socialized medicine to go terrorize the good people of Costa Rica and steal their highly-rated, GOVERNMENT funded, Socialist health care instead, remember Rush seldom says anything that is true, thus his chances of actually heading south (to live among the brown people he loves so much), are about as slim as he is fat.

Unless he was going on one of his famed drug runs to the Dominican Republic, that is.

CALLER: Yeah, you saw on the news where uh, Fidel says if you come to his country you need medical insurance now...

LIMBAUGH: Well I wouldn't go there anyway but I mean the idea that errr, umm, errr, you're gonna have to have health care, health insurance if you visit Cuber...

Ummmm, the real question is where the hell is Cuber? And do they also offer unlimited supplies of Viagra and various codones (Oxy, Hydro, etc...) on the cheap, no prescription needed?

If so, say hasta la vista to El Rushbo! Just think of all the money he'll save from not having to fly back and forth, smuggling narcotics anymore.

Probably enough for a one-way ticket somewhere far away, without the oppressive horrors of socialized medicine, where they know how to properly treat their own, a place nice and exotic like Bikini Atoll or Turkmenistan.

Maybe then, those idiots in Washington will understand that Americans don't want health care reform jammed down their throats, unless it is beer-battered and deep-fried first, and comes with a side of dipping sauce.

Peace Out, Bro!

Obama's Salsa Dance With The Devil Down Under

President Barack Obama arrived on the two-island nation of Trinidad and Tobago for the 5th Summit of the Americas on Saturday, where he hobnobbed with Latin leaders and even exchanged handshakes and pats on the back with hearty Venezuelan president and perpetual thorn-in-the side Hugo Chavez.

It was quite a departure from the previous administration's interactions with the leftist Venezuelan leader which usually resulted in Chavez likening George W. Bush to the devil followed by the immediate expulsion of all US ambassadors from both his country and his comrade Evo Morales' Bolivia (just) for good measure.

This time around it was all smiles and hugs for the two leaders, with Chavez even bearing gifts for his new presidential friend Barry--including an entire book dedicated to the rape and pillage of Latin America by the U.S. and Europe. Yay!

Although Obama did not say whether he would read the book or not, unlike the loser media, he did not consider the exchange to be a earth-shattering moment in history.

But he did call the weekend 34-nation Summit of the Americas a success, despite criticism from Republicans who blasted Obama for "irresponsibly laughing and joking" with "one of the most brutal, anti-American leaders in the entire world."

"The whole notion was that somehow if we showed courtesy or opened up dialogue with governments that had previously been hostile to us, that that somehow would be a sign of weakness," Obama said. "The American people didn't buy it. And there's a good reason the American people didn't buy it, it doesn't make sense."

His new best friend Hugo agreed as well. "I think it was a good moment. I think President Obama is an intelligent man, compared to the previous U.S. president."

He even reads good too!

Comrade Barry's Havana Affair

Viva La Revolucion!

Comrade Barry moved America a step closer to apocalyptic doom on Monday, announcing his decision to ease travel and money restrictions for Cuban-Americans hoping to reach out to family members and loved ones still stuck on the evil communist plantation island.

The Obama administration's dangerous, new Havana love affair permits U.S. telecommunications networks to link the U.S. and Cuba, and expands the number of humanitarian items that can be sent to the island (such as clothes, personal hygiene items, and other personal necessities like seeds and fishing gear). Sending money to Fidel, Raul and other high-ranking commie Castros, however, will remain prohibited under Obama's new policy

According to one senior White House official, President Obama's latest gutting of precious Bush administration policies to make America safe will allow both unlimited visits to family members in Cuba as well as unlimited remittances (cash immigrants send back home), because "as hard as we search, we can't find anyone who thinks the limitations Bush put on family travel and family remittances in 2004 were a good idea."

Um, since when was "good idea" a precondition for policy-making in this country? Oh right, Jan. 20th. Oops, my bad!