Showing posts with label Costa Rica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Costa Rica. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Perhaps This Is The Incentive The Dems Needed To Pass Health Care?



Robust, picturesque vision of health and tolerance, Rush Hudson Limbaugh III, may have dropped out of college
after two semesters and one summer, but this high school graduate doesn't need fancy degrees to know that "human beings will die earlier than normal" under President Obama's "freedom killing, life threatening" health care reform plan, which, much like the fat man himself, should be immediately "aborted."

Which is why Limbaugh, the Albert Einstein of wingnut radio, is taking his own dire warnings to heart (his large, overworked heart), telling a caller that if Obama's evil health care plan passes, and all his worst fears are realized (besides a black man in the White House), he will leave the country. Can we get that in writing??

CALLER: If the health care bill passes, where would you go for health care yourself?

LIMBAUGH: I’ll just tell you this, if this passes and it’s five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented — I am leaving the country. I’ll go to Costa Rica.

But before you get too excited at the prospect of America's worst human fleeing the country over its terrible slide towards socialized medicine to go terrorize the good people of Costa Rica and steal their highly-rated, GOVERNMENT funded, Socialist health care instead, remember Rush seldom says anything that is true, thus his chances of actually heading south (to live among the brown people he loves so much), are about as slim as he is fat.

Unless he was going on one of his famed drug runs to the Dominican Republic, that is.
CALLER: Yeah, you saw on the news where uh, Fidel says if you come to his country you need medical insurance now...

LIMBAUGH: Well I wouldn't go there anyway but I mean the idea that errr, umm, errr, you're gonna have to have health care, health insurance if you visit Cuber...
Ummmm, the real question is where the hell is Cuber? And do they also offer unlimited supplies of Viagra and various codones (Oxy, Hydro, etc...) on the cheap, no prescription needed?

If so, say hasta la vista to El Rushbo! Just think of all the money he'll save from not having to fly back and forth, smuggling narcotics anymore.

Probably enough for a one-way ticket somewhere far away, without the oppressive horrors of socialized medicine, where they know how to properly treat their own, a place nice and exotic like Bikini Atoll or Turkmenistan.

Maybe then, those idiots in Washington will understand that Americans don't want health care reform jammed down their throats, unless it is beer-battered and deep-fried first, and comes with a side of dipping sauce.

Peace Out, Bro!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Judge Rules Against Sending Forgotten Hairball Rod Blagojevich To Costa Rican Jungle


In a slap in the face to decent Americans across the country, a federal judge in Chicago denied forgotten hairball Rod Blagojevich's insane request to travel to Costa Rica to participate in a reality TV show called "I'm a Celebrity ... Get me Out of Here!"

Calling it a "bad idea" to modify Blagojevich's bail terms to allow the puffy-haired, federally-indicted former crime boss governor to travel outside the U.S., federal Judge James Zagel effectively dashed the public's hopes of getting rid of the bumbling moron for at least a few precious weeks in June.

While Judge Zagel sympathized with Blago's financial woes, he said there were "other ways for the ousted Gov. to earn money," other than putting insects, worms and rats in his pants, sitting in a tank of leeches and wading through snake and eel-filled swamps in the Costa Rican jungles for the chance to earn $123,250, if voters can stand looking at Mr. Lego head for the full 12-episodes.

Before this morning's hearing, Rod Gandhi Blagojevich told reporters he wanted to participate in the reality show as "a way to earn a living and support my children."

"It's not my first choice, but it's a living," he said.

I mean what the bleeping hell does a guy gotta do to earn a little friggin' dough around here, anyway?