The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
All About The O? More Like All About The Joe!
Ding-ding-ding, we've got a winner! It took a few casualties along the way (need I even mention that god-awful town-hall debate?) but the final presidential showdown kept its promise and delivered a clear-cut victor: Joe the Plumber!!
Yes, ladies and gents, Joe the Plumber, hands down beat both McCain and Obama to emerge as the clear front-runner of this historic presidential election.
Oh sure, both candidates had their moments. McCain got to declare once and for all that he is actually not George W. Bush. And Obama got to assure the American people that, no, he does not chill with William Ayers in his living room.
We also learned that Sarah Palin's special needs child makes her more than qualified to not only be Vice-President, but President-President. Her four other regular needs children? Eh, not so much.
Let's see what else. Oh yeah, Palin's hubby Todd is one tough-ass mother f**ker and pretty hunky too, or at least that's what Johnny tells us. Obama was probably being humble and didn't mention it, but believe me, you wouldn't wanna mess with Michelle Obama either.
Instead of having all these boring, elitist "policy debates" between the two candidates, why not just cut through the BS and have them take off their shirts, compare muscles and settle this once and for all like responsible adults. We can even have Joe the Plumber judge. It’s brilliant!