Wah Wah Joe Lieberman Sulks, Then Offers His Dull Congratulations

Aw, Joe, How Can We Stay Mad At Such A Cute Face?

Oh, Joe. We really appreciate your statement congratulating Barack Obama on his historic victory last night, even if you did do everything in your power to prevent it from happening for the last year or so.

You made us very nervous, Joe! Thankfully, though, not many people listened to the advice of a washed-up, Jewish (gasp!) turncoat with a dopey grin and suspect motives.

Boy, we were angry when you spit in the face of your fellow Democrats to endorse John McCain and whore yourself out at the Republican Convention, but we have learned to forgive.

We see now that your sincerity and willingness to let bygones be bygones is a true testament to your character.

"Now that the election is over, it is time to put partisan considerations aside and come together as a nation to solve the difficult challenges we face and make our blessed land stronger and safer."

We could not agree with you more, Joe. The only way to move this country forward is to have Republican and Democrats working together to solve the nation's most pressing issues.

President Obama (remember, the half-black guy you tried to ruin?) has already expressed his intention to build a cross-party coalition to get things done in Washington--based on ideas and action and not ugly partisan politics.

Sadly, though, you probably won't be a part of it. And not because you are a wandering orphan, unloved and unwanted by either Republicans or Democrats.

It's just that damn whiny voice of yours that we can't stand.