With his presidential campaign on life support, McCain's brilliant All-Star squad of advisers and GOP strategists unveiled their latest election strategy to put this thing in the bag for Johnny Mac once and for all.
Or at least in McCain's home state of Arizona, where the possibility that Barack Obama could actually pull off a win and hand his opponent a humiliating defeat has now become a terrifying reality.
But, McCain and the Republican National Committee are not about to let some godless Socialist waltz away with the Senator's precious home state on his way to destroying America. No sir-ee!
They're bringing out the big guns. And it ain't Joe the Plumber...
It's Robocall!! And it goes a little something like this:
You (a voter in Arizona): Hello?
Robo: I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because Barack Obama is so dangerously inexperienced, his running mate Joe Biden just said, he invites a major international crisis that he will be unprepared to handle alone.
You: What the hell is this? Ugh, I knew i should never have picked up that weird number!
Robo: If Democrats win full control of government, they will want to give civil rights to terrorists and talk unconditionally to dictators and state sponsors of terror.
You: Is this person still talking? Am I a terrible person if I just hang up?
Robo: Barack Obama and his Democratic allies lack the experience and judgment to lead America. This call was paid for by the Republican National Committee and authorized by McCain-Palin 2008. Click.
You: Omg, did they just hang up on me? I feel so dirty and used. Now I have to shower again. Damn you Barack Obama, damn you to hell!