The Comically Screwed State Of Politics, In Small, Easy-To-Swallow Bites.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Meet Meghan McCain: The Republican Party's New Miss Thang!
The Fresh New Face Of The GOP
Okay, so John McCain's presidential bid didn't turn out exactly as he would've liked, but at least some good came out of spending endless amounts of time and money on a losing effort to convince the public he's NOT in fact George W. Bush.
Like his quirky blond daughter becoming the new gay icon for closeted, self-hating conservatives across the land.
As the face for secret bleeding heart liberals trapped in Republican trust fund bondage, Meghan McCain used her new-found street cred to address a crowd of Log Cabin Republicans (conservative queers) over the weekend.
There, she told the group of out and proud (sort of) party loyalists that "old school Republicans" were "scared sh*tless" of the changing landscape. Language, Meggy, language!
The Senator's daughter, who is quickly becoming a rising star in the Republican party and a Liza Minnelli-like hero among Log Cabin sorts who put party loyalty ahead of their own sexual freedom and personal rights, took repeated shots at the GOP for their antiquated beliefs and out-of-touch policies. In other words, for not being more like Democrats.
"There are those who think we can win the White House and Congress back by being 'more' conservative. Worse, there are those who think we can win by changing nothing at all about what our party has become...I think we're seeing a war brewing in the Republican Party. But it is not between us and Democrats. It is not between us and liberals. It is between the future and the past."
Uh-Oh, easy there Meghan. Let's not forget you are a McCain, and with the title, comes certain responsibilities, like never questioning anything, staying trim, blonde, and perky, and being socially moderate your entire life until abandoning all beliefs/integrity when trying to run for public office.
But, as the daughter of the original maverick, Meghan is not known to play by anyone's rules but her own. Which is why her wake-up call to Republicans didn't end there.
"Simply embracing technology isn't going to fix our problem. Republicans using Twitter and Facebook isn't going to miraculously make people think we're cool again. Breaking free from obsolete positions and providing real solutions that don't divide our nation further will. That's why some in our party are scared. They sense the world around them is changing and they are unable to take the risk to jump free of what's keeping our party down."
Aw, come on Meg, Rush isn't that heavy!
Besides, tweeting your deepest (freedom-loving) thoughts about what you had for dinner last night and why gays and liberals are ruining America in under 140 characters is a sure-fire way to bring Republicans' victory next election. Everyone knows the kids go ga-ga for technology. Even Michael Steele could tell you that.