Monday, May 11, 2009

Clowns To The Left, Jokers To The Right. Here He Is, Stuck At This Dinner With You

America's premier entertainer-in-chief Barack Obama did not disappoint at Washington's annual Nerd Prom also known as the White House Correspondents' Dinner this past Saturday night.

There, this strange man calling himself Barack Obama and claiming to be the president, brought the 2,500-3,000-strong (depending on who you ask) journalist-and-celeb-filled house down with wit, charm, and enough zingers to go around.

Barry broke the ice with a customary teleprompter joke or two before welcoming all the arugula-eating media elites "who covered him and voted for him to celebrate the ten-day anniversary of his first 100 days." His perfect, god-like hundred days interrupted here and there by the king of comic-relief Joe Biden and his wacky Scranton antics.

However, Obama did offer his deepest apologies to Fox News, to which Glenn Beck eloquently responded by pumping his fists in the air shouting O'Doyle Rules!

This in turn reminded Obama of his own, much cooler fist-bumping incident with that bad-ass, sleeve-hating first-wife of his over there who he thanked for being an outstanding first lady and uniting the nation in agreement on a key issue: "her right to bare arms." He also remembered to wish her a happy Mother's Day before promptly moving on cause even he knows not to f**k with Michelle.

Ditto goes for that crazy mother-f**ker Rahm Emanuel. Unlike sweetheart David Axelrod, who he would have totally gay-married had it been legal when they caucused in Iowa last year.

Just like the other problem he inherited from George W. Bush: having to entertain all you people at this stupid thing. But as long as he's here, he might as well give a shout-out to his hip-hop brotha, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele for being in the heezy!

But, don't get any ideas Michael, "The Republican Party does not qualify for a bailout and Rush Limbaugh still does not count as a troubled asset." He also apologized that former vice President Dick Cheney couldn't make the dinner but he was too busy writing his memoir, "How to shoot friends and interrogate people."

Sassy firebrand and out-and-proud lesbo Wanda Sykes concluded the evening's festivities by assuring Obama he's done a fine job as president, save for the photos of his nipples and him and Biden's recent White House version of Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle.

"You've had your fair share of critics...Rush Limbaugh said this administration fails. ... He just wants the country to fail. To me that's treason. He's not saying anything different than what Osama Bin Laden is saying. You might want to look into this, sir, because I think Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. ... Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country fails, I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good waterboarding, that's what he needs."

That or a good laugh.


Anonymous said...

Ha, ha! Funny. Good analysis. I enjoyed reading it.

Anonymous said...

Ha, ha! I enjoyed reading your crafty and well-written analysis of the event last Saturday. The President was superb as usual.

Anonymous said...

Wanda has the Dittoheads undies in bunch. How dare she make fun of their "Dear Leader".